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Satirists Muscled Out of Work by Mainstream Media and Terrorist Teddies

by out-of-work satirist Friday, Feb. 15, 2002 at 10:02 PM

Teddy Bear Alert (this is a real Reuters story, folks)

FBI in L.A. Issues Teddy Bear Alert

   From Reuters

An alert over nine white Valentine teddy bears that could be packed with explosives was issued by the FBI today as Americans celebrated Valentine's Day with chocolates, flowers and cuddly toys.

The Los Angeles branch of the FBI appealed for public help in finding a man, described as being possibly of Arab descent, who bought propane canisters, air gun pellets and nine white 20 inch high Valentine bears from a Wal-Mart store in Stevenson Ranch, north of Los Angeles, last month.

Officials said the purchase may well have been entirely innocent but the warning stoked fears in a post-Sept. 11 United States already on edge after a new nationwide alert issued by U.S. authorities on Monday.

"We don't know why he bought this or what he was going to use it for," said FBI spokesman Matt McLaughlin. "It's possible he had nine Valentines...(but) we believe this could also be used as an explosive device."

FBI officials said the man is not considered a suspect and said there were no indications of any link to criminal activity. But they said he was wanted for questioning and warned people to be on guard against unexpected Valentine gifts.

The man was described as in his 20s or early 30s, possibly of Arab descent, who bought the teddy bears, seven twin packs of 8 inch (20 cm) tall propane canisters, 12 packages of 350 BBs - pellets that are usually fired from air guns - on Jan. 15. he left in a large white delivery truck.

FBI officials said they were alerted to the unusual purchase by an anonymous telephone call last week, and checked store security video cameras and cash register receipts before issuing the alert.

"For the sake of public safety we felt it necessary to issue a warning. The components combined could be used to make a crude device. But hopefully the individual will contact us and his purchase will turn out to be nothing," said FBI spokeswoman Laura Bosley.

U.S. enforcement agencies nationwide were put on heightened alert this week after the FBI on Monday issued its most specific warning to date since the Sept. 11 suicide plane bombings of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. The FBI said a terror attack might occur on Tuesday in the United States or against U.S. interests in Yemen but they did not know the target or how the suspected plot would be carried out.


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