You cynics may may sneer

Bush and Cheney did serve In Vietnam.

Top Secret service revealed.

The White House is about to make public a Top Secret report on the war service, in Vietnam, of President Bush and Vice President Cheney.

The President and Cheney are fed up with being called cowards for not fighting in that glorious patriotic war.

The report states that Dick Cheney, when he was supposed to be “otherwise engaged”, was in fact leading a deep cover intelligence unit behind enemy line in North Vietnam for which he was awarded the ‘Purple Heart’.

And President Bush was not dodging the fighting by joining the National Guard in Texas but was, in fact, on intelligence work for the CIA.

It appears from the report, that President Bush was not a coward, after all, but was also in deep cover, in Houston, where he was ordered by the CIA to infiltrate all the bars and brothels in search of Gooks and other North Vietnamese irregulars.

He was ordered to drink more than anyone else and snort all the coke he could buy, just to look the part.

He carried out his mission with gusto and reported that in all the brothels he found loads of “Gook” prostitutes pretending to be Mexican and American women.

He availed of their service, to further infiltrate them, but had to report to the CIA that the only thing he found in their rooms was dustbins full of used condoms.

He was not put off by this and continued to go back on a regular basis, despite the risk of catching any number of unpleasant things.

There is no greater bravery than this.

While we are at it, Olmert, who lost the war in Lebanon last year, also said he served in Vietnam and we have the picture (above) to prove it.

Now all our glorious war leaders can show that they were not cowards in the last war, when it was their turn.