Alternative Carols for the Holiday Season

by Radio IMC-LA Wednesday, Dec. 10, 2003 at 2:53 AM

Alternative lyrics to your holiday favorites. Get out there and go caroling for economic justice!

TOYS FOR THE WORLD

Toys for the world

Are made by kids

And not by elves at all.

We work them night and day

For very little pay.

And little tiny hands

Make all your favorite brands

That fill up the shelves

In every shopping mall.

Toys for the world

That Santa brings

So your sweet kids can play.

What’s underneath your tree

Is our economy

And all those girls and boys

Who make your children’s toys

Are not getting squat from us

On Christmas Day.

They’re not getting squat from us

On Christmas Day.



REST EASY, WEALTHY GENTLEMEN

Rest easy, wealthy gentlemen,

Let nothing make us sigh.

We give our workers little crumbs

So we can keep the pie.

We pay our politicians

So they bear our needs in mind

As they line up to kiss our fat behinds,

If they’re inclined

They line up to kiss our fat behinds.

Don’t worry, wealthy gentlemen

Let nothing make us twitch.

This new global economy’s

Designed to keep us rich.

We ply our trade in many lands,

Let all their leaders come

To bend down and kiss us on the bum,

There’s a good chum,

Just bend down and kiss us on the bum.



OH COME YE INVESTORS

Oh come, ye investors

Bold captains of commerce

Let’s get our products made in

Downtown L.A.

Come for the people

Peaceful and compliant

Oh come let us exploit them

Oh come let us exploit them

Oh come let us exploit them

Because we can.



PRISON CELLS

It’s just a traffic stop

For D.W.B.

Then the cop plants drugs on you

And busts you 1-2-3.

Or you could get popped

And if it’s your third strike,

You’ll get life in prison

Just for jacking someone’s bike.

Oh, prison cells, prison cells

Don’t you break the rules.

We spend more on prison cells

Than we spend on our schools.

Prison cells, prison cells,

You’ll be doing time.

We’ll lock you up for 40 years

And say we’re tough on crime.

Here comes the D.A.

Watch him rig the game.

He’ll suppress the evidence

That just might clear your name.

You could still appeal,

But you’re bound to fail –

Your court-appointed lawyer

Couldn’t get Jesus out of jail.

Oh, prison cells, prison cells

Don’t you break the rules.

We spend more on prison cells

Than we spend on our schools.

Prison cells, prison cells,

You’ll be doing time.

We’ll lock you up for 40 years

And say we’re tough on crime.

You’ll be building toys.

You’ll be booking flights.

We’ll force you to work

So just forget about your rights.

We don’t pay you much.

You can’t unionize.

Prison labor really makes

Our profit margin rise.

Oh, prison cells, prison cells

Don’t you break the rules.

We spend more on prison cells

Than we spend on our schools.

Prison cells, prison cells,

You’ll be doing time.

We’ll lock you up for 40 years

And say we’re tough on crime.

We don’t add no frills,

Nor rehabilitate.

We privatize the prisons

And we get rich from the state.

If our venture fails

And if our stocks should tank,

We’ll let the public bail us out

And laugh it to the bank.

Oh, prison cells, prison cells

Don’t you break the rules.

We spend more on prison cells

Than we spend on our schools.

Prison cells, prison cells,

You’ll be doing time.

We’ll lock you up for 40 years

And say we’re tough on crime.



Original: Alternative Carols for the Holiday Season