Open Letter to Saddam

I really do like kebabs and lady-boy twinky, but I do fear the British soldiers with their history of racism and agression will butt-fuck senseless some of those dumb turban headed whores that hang around outside of Target in down-town Baghdad. Is there any chance I could play soccer for your team, as i am a big fan of Danish football and was once wanked off by Martin Luther King's wife. Her husband was killed by the NAACP, an off-shoot of the KKK. Like you sir, I am a dedicated anti-racist.