{"article":{"id":267378,"heading":"Thoughts Of John Clifford Lehman Jr","author":"John C Lehman Jr","created":"2015-02-15 17:40:09","modified":"2015-02-15 17:40:09","last_modified":"Mon, 16 Feb 2015 00:40:09","article":"
\"His philosophy is the cans
tied on the back
of a shotgun wedding car.\"
\"Once you have been the great hitter
of love
it's time to become the great
coach of love.\"
\"I ran for first Godhood last week and lost so now I'm playing
third.\"
\"I was a victim of exhaustion from examining my conscience.\"
\"We cannot rest. We have more chimneys to go down.\"
\"The Pope is Catholic. Jesus is beyond the division of sect.\"
\"The mandate bird flies away so quickly after an election. It is
not that the public is fickle but that the bird was mythical.\"
\"Love your enemies. You never really know what your friends think
of you.\"
\"You have enfired my love. You can never fire my love.\"
\"They may someday believe in God
if now they can believe
in the believers in God.\"
\"I know one man who was so divided about whether to go
to Vietnam.. or to be a conscientious objector.. he
became a schizophrenic.. He was so split on this issue that
when he died they carved his name on the Vietnam War Memorial
twice..\"
\"We have a friend who generates heat by rubbing his cold heart against his dry brain.\"
\"Greater love hath no man than to live his life for his friend.\"
\"I read that the
antiChrist is distance.\"
\"The door to heaven and hell are the same door.\"
\"I'd get out of bed and get my wife coffee
but I don't want Colombo to see me naked.\"
\"They have now discovered that the Messiah has come again..
they can't release the news til he gives up smoking.\"
\"Humor makes connections where logic fails.\"
\"At the North Pole, all directions are south. Take 1 step
in any direction and the world of East, West, North and South
reappears. When stuck in indecision, take 1 step in any direction.\"
\"Women have been on pedestals, men on thrones.\"
\"If you break Lizzie Borden's crime into a number of tiny bits,
no piece would be big enough to convict her of a crime, said
Clarence Darrow.\"
\"Lady Conductor......She raised her baton....and Beethoven answered
\"You do not need to believe you are Christ
to act like Him.\"
\"That woman has transcended duality. All are one... until an attractive
woman walks into the room.\"
\"My wife and I are one. To each other we chirp. To humans
we talk philosophy.\"
\"My wife organized the Jewish Women's Caucus boycott of Moses..
wait.. ! I am receiving a correction !
My wife was the VERY LAST woman to join the Jewish Women's
Caucus boycott of Moses!\"
\"Dodging winks is the game of
a faithful man.\"
\"My mother's heart is so big it has its own zip code.\"
\"I went to school every day with my John Glenn astronaut lunchbox
and inside it was wrapped my mother's love.\"
\"The Holy Spirit is here.
He's playing third base.\"
\"It's best to wait until the other guy draws because he won't.\"
\"I'd rather be with Charles Manson an hour after he won the lottery
than with Albert Schweitzer during a bout of diarrhea.\"
\"I used to think my only choices were to be a hero going to hell or a chicken going to hell. Now I realize a loving God could never create anything but perfection out of His perfection. Nor
does God desire one jot of unnecessary suffering.\"
\"I say 'man' as downbeat for the rhythm of a sentence.\"
\"When I was younger I thought that if prayer worked the
CIA would have nuclear prayer jammers around the world.\"
\"The nihilism I was taught in
philosophy class nearly
destroyed me.\"
\"John Connally comes out onto his estate lawn in pajamas
surveying the forced auction of his possessions and asks if anyone
has a cup of coffee.\"
\"The faces of starving children won't leave my mind... like uranium waste in a dumpsite.\"
\"Sometimes it is not
necessary..
the problem to solve.
Changing angle of
vision...
the problem dissolves.\"
\"Don't hold onto
yesterday's manna... today's is better.\"
\"As the dam separates the river from itself, so does rebellion separate us from God.\"
\"Satan is the reverse mirror image of Jesus.\"
\"When I was little the minister in our church said we were all
sinners and I thought Not my Uncle Bill.\"
\"I prefer veni and vici to VD.\"
\"Answers are evil. I try to remain in the hub of all possibility.\"
\"Many have screwed the truth, but few
have called her the next day.\"
\"God made blacks to find out which whites were going to hell.
He made universities as a place where smart people need
not tell the truth.\"
\"The only moment of victory for the champion runner is the precise second he crosses the finish line, when most in the stands could
beat him.\"
\"It's time we declared love on Muslim countries.\"
\"Do not donut.\"
\"My father's will was so powerful it
was a police escort into reality.\"
\"Hell...is the no smoking section of heaven.\"
\"I was a tv monitor for the NSA. I was supposed to report any sudden weight changes in Mother Angelica.\"
-John Clifford Lehman Jr- 1955 to 1991.
53 \n","contact":"","link":"","address":"","phone":"","parent_id":0,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","summary":"John Lehman (1955 to 1991) was a philosopher, a humorist, a comic.","numcomment":0,"fileurl":"\/uploads\/2015\/02\/100410-590x393.jpg","filesize":"25.4 kibibytes","article_url":"\/news\/2015\/02\/267378.php","image":{"original":"\/uploads\/2015\/02\/100410-590x393.jpg","small":"\/uploads\/2015\/02\/100410-590x393.jpgthumb.jpg"}},"attachments":[],"comments":[]}