Nunavut Defense Forces Block Attempt on Bush\r\n<\/p>
IQALUIT - Nunavut authorities stopped an attempt on Bush today. Nunavut\r\nDefense Forces reports that a lone polar bear was intercepted while heading\r\nsouth. Scrolled on his side, in red paint, were the words \"Fuck\r\nBush.\" During questioning the bear refused to answer any questions\r\nand was handed over to American authorities, transferred in an unmarked aircraft\r\nto Washington D.C. and then deported to Syria. According to Syrian\r\nauthorities, their interrogators have forced the bear to talk, revealing a\r\nsecret network of al-Polar members scattered across Nunavut. These polar\r\nbears have been purchasing weapons from Wal-Mart stores in Alaska and then\r\nsmuggling them across the Yukon to Nunavut.<\/p>\r\n
Aerial surveillance suggests the a secret trans-polar root exists. \r\nWeapons of Mass Destruction are finding their way from Northern Afghanistan,\r\nacross Central Asia and then on through Russia where they are transported\r\nbeneath the polar cap by al-Qaeda seals. Polar bears have been seen using\r\ntheir white coats to blend into the ice near the Canadian side of the Arctic\r\nOcean, waiting for the al-Qaeda seals to arrive.<\/p>\r\n
The American Department of Homeland Security is pressuring Ottawa to join the\r\ndefense forces of these two nations to resist this polar threat. Canadians\r\nare being asked to give up their sovereignty and learn to sing the Star Spangled\r\nBanner. \"It's in their, you know, their best interest,\" said\r\nPresident George Bush. \"We gotta smoke'm out and keep 'em\r\nrunning.\"<\/p>\r\n
Marlene Jennings has asked all Canadians to smile kindly at Bush while he\r\nvisits Canada lobbying for unity. \"He's our neighbor,\" she is\r\nreported to have said, \"the least we can do it give up our sovereignty to\r\nhim.\"<\/p>\r\n\n","contact":"","link":"","address":"","phone":"","parent_id":0,"mime_type":"text\/html","summary":"Heroic Bush Saved Again!!!","numcomment":0,"fileurl":"\/uploads\/","filesize":null,"article_url":"\/news\/2004\/11\/119875.php"},"attachments":[],"comments":[]}