The\r\nRapture Is Here,\r\nPlease\r\nReport to Your Posts\r\n<\/p>
Hi, it's Me, God. I know you've been waiting a very long time for\r\nthis, but I've finally gotten around to the Rapture. The Rapture will be\r\nwithin the next few weeks. All devote followers of George Bush are invited\r\nto Heaven where they will be secure in My bosom while I bring the end times down\r\nupon the filthy and wretched liberals, communists, anarchists and Muslims. \r\nTime is of the essence so pay attention and get moving.<\/b><\/p>\r\n
I\r\nrealize that your televangelists have convinced you all that when the Rapture\r\ncomes good Christians will simply disappear from the Earth and reappear in\r\nHeaven. I regret to disappoint you, but it's not so simple. As I am\r\nsure you are aware, you have never witnessed anyone \"just\r\ndisappear.\" In fact, throughout your life, unless you were under the\r\ninfluence of mind altering chemicals, you've never seen anything violate the\r\nlaws of physics. There is a reason for this. You see, the laws of\r\nphysics are My laws. I made them and I expect everything to follow\r\nthem. Therefore, there will be no \"just disappearing\" for this\r\none. You actually need to report to the right location and wait for the\r\nRapture.<\/b><\/p>\r\n
The Rapture will be taking place soon. In fact, it could take place\r\ntomorrow. If you do not wish to be left behind, I suggest you get moving\r\nnow. Time is of the essence. The Rapture will take place on the\r\nsummit of Mt. St. Helens. I have already started the process. The\r\nearthquakes around the mountain signal my preparations. All followers of\r\nmy blessed chosen one, George Bush, are to report to the summit\r\nimmediately. I cannot stress with greater force just how important this\r\nis. Consider it the final test of your faith in me. As many of you\r\nlike to say, \"Faith can move a mountain.\" Indeed, this is true,\r\nso come along, climb up to the summit and if your faith is great enough, the\r\nwhole top of the mountain and my chosen followers will enjoy a ride to heaven.<\/b><\/p>\r\n
All aboard!<\/b><\/p>\r\n\r\n \r\n
Love, God<\/b><\/p>\r\n
<\/p>\r\n
<\/p>\r\n \r\n\r\n\n","contact":"","link":"","address":"","phone":"","parent_id":0,"mime_type":"text\/html","summary":"Invitation to supporters of George Bush only, from God.","numcomment":0,"fileurl":"\/uploads\/","filesize":null,"article_url":"\/news\/2004\/10\/117387.php"},"attachments":[],"comments":[]}