{"article":{"id":114580,"heading":"Become a US Marine","author":"vet","created":"2004-07-24 02:54:47","modified":"2004-07-24 02:54:47","last_modified":"Sat, 24 Jul 2004 09:54:47","article":"<p>The US Marine Corps is looking for a few good morons to do the rich pigs&rsquo; dirty work.  <br><br> Become a Marine and:  <br><br> Murder your way to college.  <br><br> Travel to exotic places and contaminate the ecosystems for billions of years with radioactive substances.  <br><br> Meet the indigenous people of these exotic places and murder, torture, rape, sodomize, maim, rob, degrade, ransom, extort and enslave them and their children.  <br><br> Plunder museums and take priceless artifacts.  <br><br> Destroy water treatment plants, grain storage facilities, homes, schools, hospitals, etc so you can brag about what a great humanitarian you are for rebuilding them.  <br><br> Shoot at ambulances and people waving white flags.  <br><br> Practice target shooting at real live human targets! Free ammunition!  <br><br> Detonate cluster bombs in neighborhoods.  <br><br> Snipe children, women, senior citizens.  <br><br> Commit war crimes with impunity.  <br><br> Become a non-thinker, robot.  <br><br> Lose your individuality.  <br><br> Call the enemy racist names like gook, rag head and hadjii without fear of being labeled a racist.  <br><br> Surrender your constitutional rights.  <br><br> Subject your body to injections of harmful improperly tested vaccines.  <br><br> Acquire the symptoms of mysterious diseases, which the government denies exist.  <br><br> Get your picture in the local newspaper obituary section for free.  <br><br> Come home in flag-draped coffin for free.  <br><br> Receive a free burial.  <br><br> Get wounded and have the VA put you on a long waiting list for treatment.  <br><br> Get injured and have the medical officer tell you you&rsquo;re faking.  <br><br> Receive free psychiatric treatment for telling your commander that you saw your comrades murder a POW.  <br><br> Experience post traumatic stress disorder and commit suicide or kill your spouse.  <br><br> Take advantage of the poverty and loose laws in foreign countries and have sex with 10 year-old prostitutes for cheap. Brag about it with your friends.  <br><br> Learn how to be a lean mean killing machine so that when you get out you can become a killer cop, prison guard, wife beater, snitch, scab, Mafia hit man.  <br><br>  <br><br>  <br>  <br> <\/p>\n","contact":"","link":"","address":"","phone":"","parent_id":0,"mime_type":"text\/plain","summary":"Sign up","numcomment":0,"fileurl":"\/uploads\/","filesize":null,"article_url":"\/news\/2004\/07\/114580.php"},"attachments":[],"comments":[]}