{"article":{"id":113848,"heading":"Shitocracy ('shit-&-'t\u00e4-kr&-sE)","author":"Aardvark","created":"2004-07-07 21:06:28","modified":"2013-11-11 00:30:19","last_modified":"Mon, 11 Nov 2013 08:30:19","article":"\r\n \r\n
\r\n Shitocracy ('shit-&-'tä-kr&-sE)\r\n <\/td>\r\n \r\nAuthor: Aardvark<\/i>\r\n <\/td>\r\n <\/tr>\r\n<\/table>\r\n

The increasing influence of Texans in the national political arena has\r\nprompted the coining of a new term for a predominantly Texan form of hierarchy:\r\n\"the shitocracy\" (pronounced \"shit\" \"talk\"\r\n\"crass\" \"ee\").  Unlike meritocracy, a system where\r\npower and influence correlate with merit, talent or accomplishment; shitocracy\r\npromotes those who appear to get ahead by making their opponents appear to be\r\nbehind.  Put in few words, shitocracy promotes the survival of those most\r\nadept at slinging shit on their opponents while covering their own shit with a\r\nheavy dose of perfume.<\/p>\r\n

While shitocracy has been the norm in Texan politics for some time, the art\r\nof the shitocrat has reached new heights in the arch-shitocrat George W. Bush,\r\nwhose entire substance is nothing but shit and whose form can only be described\r\nas held together by a dense coating of evaporated perfume.  For those of us\r\nnot originally from Texas, it is impossible to understand how a dung heap like\r\nGW could have gone un-smelt for so long, but then again, we are not from the\r\nMidland-Odessa area and have never smelled the background stench of several\r\nhundred thousand Texan steer on a hot West Texas day.<\/p>\r\n

The term \"shitocracy\" has been waiting to be born since the first\r\nTexan politician rewrote the history of the Alamo and painted the lost battle as\r\na victory.  Until now, without the talents of this author, we have only\r\nseen foreshadows of the concept in expressions such as \"shit\r\nfloats.\"  But alas, I have come to your rescue and coined the perfect\r\nterm for Texan hierarchy and now that it, SHITOCRACY, has a name, we can all\r\ntalk about it freely.  Indeed, we can write volumes about it and point out\r\nthose instances of the phenomenon we have encountered, identifying them, for the\r\nfirst time, by their proper term, SHITOCRATS.<\/p>\r\n

However, I must be modest and point out that another author (David Jefferson)\r\ndiscovered long before I did a precursor to shitocracy.  While not quite\r\nthere, it describes an essential quality of the shitocrat - namely a level of bogosity\r\napproaching the Lenat\r\n(or 1,000,000\r\nµL).  Not surprisingly, the name sake of the microLenat (Douglas B.\r\nLenat), floated to Texas some time back and his own corporation closely\r\nresembles a shitocracy, but I digress.<\/p>\r\n

A formal definition of shitocracy, therefore, might read something like this:<\/p>\r\n\r\n

Shitocracy:<\/b><\/p>\r\n \r\n

Pronunciation: 'shit-&-'tä-kr&-sE
\r\n Function: noun
\r\n Inflected Form(s): plural -cies
\r\n Etymology: Middle English, from Old English scite; akin to Old English -scItan to defecate + -o- +\r\n -cracy
\r\n 1 : a system in which the bogus are chosen and moved ahead on the basis of their\r\n ability to fling shit at their competitors
\r\n 2 : leadership selected on the basis of endowment with a high bogosity,\r\n approaching or exceeding 1,000,000\r\n µL
\r\n - shit·o·crat·ic \/\"'shit-&-'kra-tik\/ adjective<\/p>\r\n \r\n\r\n

Shitocracy, by its very nature, is unstable.  Whereas there is a natural\r\nbasis for meritocracy, shitocracy requires constant maintenance.  In order\r\nto keep the shit on the top of the hierarchy, a great deal of energy must be\r\nspent on keeping down those who would naturally rise above the top node of the\r\nshitocracy.  Manufacture of shit must be constant to maintain order and its\r\napplication consumes a great deal of the energy available to the shitocracy. \r\nThus, since shit is non productive, there must come a time when all available\r\nresources are consumed in an effort to maintain the shitocracy itself. \r\nOnce these resources are consumed, the shitocracy's formative forces are out\r\ncompeted by the natural but suppressed meritocratic<\/i> forces within and a\r\nrestructuring takes place, leading to the re-emergence of a meritocracy. \r\nShitocracies, therefore, as we have seen in Enron and the first President Bush,\r\nare temporary structures predestined to collapse under their own weight.<\/p>\r\n

The inevitable collapse of a given shitocracy, while welcome, does not negate\r\nthe need to clean the shit up after its demise.  Indeed, the laws of good\r\nplumbing require that those who survive the fall take care to build an\r\ninfrastructure which will drain away the fecal remains of the shitocracy,\r\nthereby leaving fewer resources to the next shitocrat looking for an opportunity\r\nto rise.  It is only by putting shit its place that society can delay the\r\neventual return of the next shitocracy.<\/p>\r\n\n","contact":"","link":"","address":"","phone":"","parent_id":0,"mime_type":"text\/html","summary":"The increasing influence of Texans in the national political arena has prompted the coining of a new term for a predominantly Texan form of hierarchy: "the shitocracy" (pronounced "shit" "talk" "crass" "ee"). ","numcomment":1,"fileurl":"\/uploads\/","filesize":null,"article_url":"\/news\/2004\/07\/113848.php"},"attachments":[],"comments":[{"id":113851,"heading":"Blatant Texism","article":"aardvark: (noun) 1) a burrowing mammal (Orycteropus afer) of southern Africa, having a stocky, hairy body, large ears, a long tubular snout, and digging claws.\r\n\r\n2) a racist, Texist, voto-phobe\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n","author":"Unemployed Dukakis campaigner","parent_id":113848,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2004-07-08 02:46:55","modified":"2004-07-08 02:46:55","fileurl":""}]}