The universal political platform of the left wing politician is revealed here. If we were to give them truth serum, this is how an interview with any one of them would play out.

Q. What do you want?
A. Power and longevity in office

Q. How do you plan to get elected
A. Confiscate money from our political enemies, the Republicans (also known by the code words 'Rich' and 'Corporations.) and use those funds to buy voting blocs.

Q. What are you offering voters?
A. A free lunch. Free medical care, free eduction, free unemployment insurance, free everything. We're opening up the wallets of our opponents to pay for it.

Q. So you're saying wealth and income redistribution is your central program?
A. No! Getting and staying in power is our central program. Income redistribution is our method for buying entire voting blocs.

Q. What's your program for fighting terrorism?
A. We'll phone it in to Kofi and let him deal with it. We really don't don't want to waste energy on that issue. We want to cut military spending because that's one voting bloc that isn't for sale. We like to concentrate on the voting blocs that will sell out.

Q. What do you see as the proper role for the United States internationally?
A. Well we're not very well liked so we probably ought to defer to the Germans and the French and keep a low profile for a while. Mainly we want to cut back out spending on military and foreign items so that we can divert those funds to buy more voting blocs and more power for us.

Q. How do you feel about Gay Marriage?
A. We see a voting bloc we can buy. We want it!

Q. Why haven'tt you been more vocal in supporting your fellow liberal leaders Aristide in Haiti and Chavez in Venezuela?
A. Why would we give a damn about them? I don't see any voting blocs there. Neither Haitians or Venezuelans can vote us into office. Screw them, they're worthless. We're concentrating on the labor unions, the teachers, the voting blocs who can deliver votes. This is about power. Don't you get it?

Q. Why are you so strongly against the war in Iraq?
A. We can better use that money to buy more votes so we can get into power. Let's dump that on Kofi.

Q. But what about Al Queda?
A. What about them? So they attack? We can blame Bush. Let's not spend a lot of money on that. We've got bettter uses for your money -- buying votes!