{"article":{"id":101442,"heading":"Caption This Photo","author":"peace face","created":"2004-01-28 01:53:07","modified":"2005-08-15 02:48:53","last_modified":"Mon, 15 Aug 2005 09:48:53","article":"","contact":"","link":"","address":"","phone":"","parent_id":0,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","summary":"Winner of the \"caption this photo\" contest gets their choice of a date with one of the Bush Daughters, Lunch with Mr. Ashcroft, or a paid vacation to beautiful downtown Baghdad!","numcomment":12,"fileurl":"\/uploads\/2004\/01\/sheeple.jpgxeha82.jpg","filesize":"21.6 kibibytes","article_url":"\/news\/2004\/01\/101442.php","image":{"original":"\/uploads\/2004\/01\/sheeple.jpgxeha82.jpg","small":"\/uploads\/2004\/01\/sheeple.jpgxeha82.jpgthumb.jpg"}},"attachments":[],"comments":[{"id":101443,"heading":"How about?","article":"So, which one of them's Michael Moore?","author":"VN Daspall","parent_id":101442,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2004-01-28 01:55:51","modified":"2004-01-28 01:55:51","fileurl":""},{"id":101448,"heading":"sheep","article":"there are more than one kind of sheep","author":"acirema","parent_id":101442,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2004-01-28 02:09:42","modified":"2004-01-28 02:09:42","fileurl":""},{"id":101451,"heading":"Caption","article":""Here we are in Iraq and we're still surrounded by Democrats."","author":"Contest Winner","parent_id":101442,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2004-01-28 02:55:59","modified":"2004-01-28 02:55:59","fileurl":""},{"id":101452,"heading":""Coalition soldiers...","article":"...gather DNA evidence with which to identify the remaining 'Iraq Most Wanted' regime leaders still unaprehended."\r\n\r\nnonanarchist","author":";lkkjhkljh","parent_id":101442,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2004-01-28 02:56:31","modified":"2004-01-28 02:56:31","fileurl":""},{"id":101457,"heading":"Hey!!","article":"That one looks like Yasser Arafat!!","author":"Barney","parent_id":101442,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2004-01-28 03:05:59","modified":"2004-01-28 03:05:59","fileurl":""},{"id":101459,"heading":"Or this one:","article":"Coalition soldiers prepare the remaining Human Shields, who volunteered to protect Saddam Hussein's military targets from Coalition attack, for airlift out of Iraq."\r\n\r\nnonanarchist","author":";l;lhh","parent_id":101442,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2004-01-28 03:13:22","modified":"2004-01-28 03:13:22","fileurl":""},{"id":101470,"heading":"US Soldiers Look for Date","article":"US soldiers took some time for a little R&R pursuing their favorite hobby, humping sheep.  "Nothing like a little mutton to warm my stick," said GI Joe, as he sharped his bayonett and thought about all of the Iraqis he slaughtered the night before.","author":"Osama","parent_id":101442,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2004-01-28 03:51:36","modified":"2004-01-28 03:51:36","fileurl":""},{"id":101475,"heading":"VOICE OF THE SHEEPLE","article":""Bah... bah... bah.... we support our dupes!"","author":"pikachu","parent_id":101442,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2004-01-28 06:58:50","modified":"2004-01-28 06:58:50","fileurl":""},{"id":101497,"heading":"Where's Osama?","article":"The Cyclopes\r\n\r\nThey next arrived at the country of the Cyclopes.                               The Cyclopes inhabited an island of which they were                               the only possessors. They dwelt in caves and fed                               on the wild productions of the island and on what                               their flocks yielded, for they were shepherds.                               Ulysses left the main body of his ships at anchor,                               and with one vessel went to the Cyclopes' island                               to explore for supplies. He landed with his                               companions, carrying with them a jar of wine for a                               present. Coming to a large cave they entered it,                               and, finding no one within, examined its contents.                               They found it stored with the riches of the flock,                               quantities of cheese, pails and bowls of milk,                               lambs and kids in their pens, all in good order.                               Presently arrived the master of the cave,                           Polyphemus, bearing an immense bundle of firewood,                               which he threw down before the cavern's mouth. He                               then drove into the cave the sheep and goats to be                               milked, and, entering, rolled to the cave's mouth                               an enormous rock, that twenty oxen could not draw.                               Next he sat down and milked his ewes, preparing a                               part for cheese and setting the rest aside for his                               customary drink. Then turning round his one huge                               eye he discerned the strangers, and growled out at                               them, demanding who they were and where from.                               Ulysses replied most humbly, stating that they                               were Greeks from the great expedition that had                               lately won so much glory in the conquest of Troy,                               that they were now on their way home, and finished                               by imploring his hospitality in the name of the                               gods. Polyphemus deigned no answer, but reaching                               out his hand seized two of the men, whom he hurled                               against the side of the cave and dashed out their                               brains. He proceeded to devour them with great                               relish, and having made a hearty meal, stretched                               himself on the floor to sleep. Ulysses was tempted                               to seize the opportunity and plunge his sword into                               him as he slept, but recollected that it would                               only expose them all to certain destruction, as                               the rock with which the giant had closed up the                               door was far beyond their power to remove, and                               they would therefore be in hopeless imprisonment.\r\n\r\nNext morning the giant seized two more of the                               men and dispatched them in the same manner as                               their companions, feasting on their flesh till no                               fragment was left. He then moved away the rock                               from the door, drove out his flocks, and went out,                               carefully replacing the barrier after him. When he                               was gone Ulysses planned how he might take                               vengeance for his murdered friends and effect his                               escape with his surviving companions. He made his                               men prepare a massive bar of wood cut by the                               Cyclops for a staff, which they found in the cave.                               They sharpened the end of the staff and seasoned                               it in the fire, and hid it under the straw on the                               cavern floor. Then four of the boldest were                               selected, with whom Ulysses joined himself as a                               fifth. The Cyclops came home at evening, rolled                               away the stone, and drove in his flock as usual.                               After milking them and making his arrangements as                               before, he seized two more of Ulysses' companions,                               dashed their brains out, and made his evening meal                               upon them as he had on the others. After he had                               supped, Ulysses approaching him handed him a bowl                               of wine, saying, "Cyclops, this is wine;                               taste and drink after thy meal of man's                               flesh." He took and drank it, and was hugely                               delighted with it, and called for more. Ulysses                               supplied him once and again, which pleased the                               giant so much that he promised him as a favor that                               he should be the last of the party devoured. He                               asked his name, to which Ulysses replied, "My                               name is Noman."\r\n\r\nAfter his supper the giant sought his repose,                               and was soon sound asleep. Then Ulysses with his                               four select friends held the end of the stake in                               the fire till it was one burning coal, then                               poising it exactly above the giant's only eye,                               they plunged it deep into the socket, twirling it                               round as a carpenter does his auger. The howling                               monster with his outcry filled the cavern, and                               Ulysses with his aids nimbly got out of his way                               and concealed themselves in the cave. He,                               bellowing, called aloud on all the Cyclopes                               dwelling in the caves around him, far and near.                               They, on his cry, flocked round the den, and                               inquired what grievous hurt had caused him to                               sound such an alarm and break their slumbers. He                               replied, "o friends, I die, and Noman gives                               the blow." They answered," If no man                               hurts thee, it is the stroke of Jove, and thou                               must bear it." So saying, they left him                               groaning.\r\n\r\nNext morning the Cyclops rolled away the stone                               to let his flock out to pasture, but planted                               himself in the door of the cave to feel of all as                               they went out, that Ulysses and his men should not                               escape with them. But Ulysses had made his men                               harness the rams of the flock three abreast, with                               osiers which they found on the floor of the cave.                               To the middle ram of the three one of the Greeks                               suspended himself, so protected by the exterior                               rams on either side. As they passed, the giant                               felt of the animals' backs and sides, but never                               thought of their bellies; so the men all passed                               safe, Ulysses himself being on the last one that                               passed. When they had got a few paces from the                               cavern, Ulysses and his friends released                               themselves from their rams and drove a good part                               of the flock down to the shore to their boat. They                               put them aboard with all haste, then pushed off                               from the shore; and when at a safe distance                               Ulysses shouted out, "Cyclopes, the gods have                               well requited thee for thy atrocious deeds. Know                               it is Ulysses to whom thou owest thy shameful loss                               of sight." The Cyclops, hearing this, seized                               a rock that projected from the side of the                               mountain, and rending it from its bed, he lifted                               it high in the air, then exerting all his force,                               hurled it in the direction of the voice. Down came                               the mass, just forward of the vessel. The ocean,                               at the plunge of the huge rock, heaved the ship                               toward Polyphemus; but a second rock which he                               hurled, striking aft, propelled them fortunately                               in the direction that they desired to take.                               Ulysses was about to hail the giant again, but his                               friends besought him not to do so. He could not                               forbear, however, letting the giant know that they                               had escaped his missile, but waited till they had                               reached a safer distance than before. The giant                               answered them with curses, while Ulysses and his                               friends, plying their oars vigorously, regained                               their companions.","author":"more rational","parent_id":101442,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2004-01-28 18:21:43","modified":"2004-01-28 18:21:43","fileurl":""},{"id":101660,"heading":"fresca","article":""I sure hate it when those koranimals blow themselves up, but the sheep sure like eatin' them."","author":"fresca","parent_id":101442,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2004-01-29 19:44:34","modified":"2004-03-09 22:02:00","fileurl":""}]}