{"article":{"id":96022,"heading":"Why Men Die First","author":"Humor","created":"2003-12-02 20:11:23","modified":"2003-12-03 17:08:52","last_modified":"Thu, 04 Dec 2003 00:08:52","article":"
Why men die first is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries,
but now we know: If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her
from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist; if you stay home and do the
housework, you're a pansy. If you work too hard, there's never any time
for her; if you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she
has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation; if you
have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy
behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her,
that is favoritism; if she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal
opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment;
if you keep quiet it's male indifference. If you cry, you're a wimp; if
you don't, you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without
consulting her, you're a chauvinist; if she makes a decision without
consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something
she doesn't enjoy, that's domination; if she asks you, it's a favor. If
you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert;
if you don't, you're gay. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep
in shape, you're sexist; if you don't, you're unromantic. If you try to
keep yourself in shape, you're vain; if you don't, you're a slob. If you
buy her flowers, you're after something; if you don't, you're not
thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of
yourself; if you aren't you're not ambitious. If she has a headache,
she's tired; if you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
Men die first because they want to.
\n","contact":"","link":"","address":"","phone":"","parent_id":0,"mime_type":"text\/plain","summary":"The age old question has always been why do men die first? Why do Women tend to outlive men? Here is one answer to this age old question.","numcomment":7,"fileurl":"\/uploads\/","filesize":null,"article_url":"\/news\/2003\/12\/96022.php"},"attachments":[],"comments":[{"id":96046,"heading":"what a victim","article":"Poor baby. I bet your wife (more likely ex-wife) never anticipates or anticipated when you had drained your can of beer and needed another one while you are or were watching the big game. Maybe you should have a sex change operation and apply for a waitress job; they obviously have it so good.","author":"Meyer London","parent_id":96022,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-12-02 22:59:10","modified":"2003-12-02 22:59:10","fileurl":""},{"id":96061,"heading":"naked is best","article":"" you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert"\r\nno kidding. Same with make up and hair color. If women knew how good they looked to us, they wouldn't need all that crap.","author":"Sheepdog","parent_id":96022,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-12-03 00:21:51","modified":"2003-12-03 00:21:51","fileurl":""},{"id":96072,"heading":"Meyer","article":"Must you exploit EVERY opportunity to illustrate how utterly humorless and emasculated you are.\r\n\r\nBelieve me, we all get it.","author":"fresca99dhh","parent_id":96022,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-12-03 02:45:36","modified":"2003-12-03 02:45:36","fileurl":""},{"id":96085,"heading":"That's just a rumour","article":"But they say that's how Catherine the Great of Russia died.\r\n\r\nNow you know why the called her "great".","author":"Barney","parent_id":96022,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-12-03 04:40:22","modified":"2003-12-03 04:40:22","fileurl":""},{"id":96126,"heading":"not evolved","article":" The last few comments show that, contrary to the fears of Jerry Falwell and other neanderthals, not all white American males have evolved. They are still stuck in 1952, or maybe that is 1492. Their brains must have been shipped over in Columbus' boat in jars of alchohol, then implanted into the cadavers of local pirates who had been killed in battles with the Indians. Rumor has it that the pirates suffered a severe drop in IQ after these implants.","author":"Meyer London","parent_id":96022,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-12-03 17:08:52","modified":"2003-12-03 17:08:52","fileurl":""}]}