There are many
people who "live" online. They are online all the time,
they never leave chat rooms, messengers etc. A mail sent at 4 am
is often answered immediately. Do these folks have NO life? or is
there something more to it all. Most
online chatters and users are healthy and happy folks, who come in
to chat a while and email friends and family, play some games, or
research something online.
There are groups of users though
who go beyond that and they seem to be in 2 groups; group one
includes individuals who have all the time in the world to annoy and
pester. They may have a website that they use to spout hate,
booters, or other antisocial items. Then there is group two,
comprised of people who also seem to have all the time in the world
to be online, but use the time productively. They may help in the
help rooms, or have active websites for friends, family,
organizations and sometimes self. Now important factor here is to
realize that the people in group one.. may seem nice, friendly and
ever so patient and group two may appear abrupt or impatient. Often
there may be some overlap as well, seemingly nice chatters who have
hate pages, and seemingly rude chatters who are actually very
helpful. Be aware that abusers/ stalkers/ harassers are
consummate manipulators, jealous and are targeting you
for a real or imagines slight.
The subtle differences can be seen
only via long term observation. So for the average user? Just
remember that everyone who helps you out of a mess may not be your
friend, and watch who speaks poorly about others. The malcontents
may seem very helpful, but you should be cautious of those who have
issues and speak poorly of others. But then again, everyone is
entitled to bad days. Take it all with a grain of salt, check
sites, use Google, and decide for yourself.....
Keep in mind that many
masterful stalkers and harassers will attempt to justify their
actions with persecutory and/or grandiose delusions.
They are often masterful manipulators who will cry loudly and
profusely of their victimization. In group settings the
clever abuser will befriend those who are not friendly with his
target and utilize them to stalk and harass his victim as well.
Long term and persistent abusers will make up reasons to justify
their abuse and will do anything to provoke you to further
attempt to shift the blame to you. So if you see abuse, or
are abused....... DOCUMENT! IGNORE! FILTER! and BLOCK!
Cyberstalking and online
harassment are just an
extension of the old power and control cycle that most abusers user.
Harassers will use several techniques to try and control the victim
~
They will attempt to isolate
their victim, to control who you speak too, email, chat with, and
where and when you chat or use the computer. The abuser will often
post false statements in chats, forums, emails, spam their victim,
or post their information on a public forum so they are inundated
with email or messages. Additionally they pretend they are
their victim, cloning ( making visually similar ids) and will abuse
others who do not realize the differences.
Stalkers will emotionally and
financially abuse their victims ~ from trying mind games, harassing
or derogatory statements, to threats to their livelihood.
Stalkers and harassers will
minimize the situation and will attempt to blame the person they are
harassing and stalking. This is an extension of the
"vendetta" excuse, a punishment for some real or imagined
slight.
Online abuse may not follow the
same cycle exactly as "real life" stalking and
harassment, the victims can discern a pattern over time, but
realize that online abuse is just as real and horrific as real
life physical abuse.
So what to do when you get
harassed or annoyed or stalked online?
Realize that you often can do
nothing and become the target of a stalker or harasser. You can sit
quietly in chat and become a target, or you can speak to the wrong
person and end up harassed DAILY and CONSTANTLY. One line of defense
is knowing what to do. It is more than knowing who to tell... you
need to know how to document the abuse and protect yourself.
Start with protecting yourself.
Check your online profiles and make sure that you have no personal
real information on them. If the chat server ( like yahoo) has a
space for alternate email address, make sure that is current at all
times, this is where your new password goes if you request it.....
make sure its current and VERIFY IT!!
Make sure you have a great
password!! use a password
generator, grab the random code yahoo mail generates, or whatever
tool you chose... BACK up the passwords to a text file..... and save
to a floppy.. print it out.... put it SOMEWHERE safe as well.
Have a firewall and antivirus on
your computer. There are
several free of both, and no excuse to not have both current.
Firewalls will protect you from random port attacks and hack
attempts, and an antivirus protects your mail and your computer from
malicious email... intended or not...... SIDE NOTE HERE>> if
you private message with strangers or cam with strangers on yahoo,
you risk a peer to peer connection on your computer ? this means a
DIRECT CONNECTION and your computers ip becomes known to the other
user. be careful.
Communicate
with companies who you do business with and let them know the
situation. Establish a secondary non-public email for working, and
if your email is spammed, and you receive unwanted mail, contact the
companies, most e-zines and online forums will send the originating
email or request with the offenders ip and computer name. They will
also flag the details for legal reasons. So don't just toss the
spam.... check it out.. those email ips can often give you the final
evidence you need.
Be prepared to save!
Not all chats have the ability to save transcripts, so you need a
back up system. Realize that the transcripts are not always
considered a legal document, but you can use to show a pattern of
behavior. Now~ test this before you need it!! think of it as your
online safety plan.
- Find out how to save the text on
that chat you use. /save works in some....... but even if you
can save the text files, do screen captures.
- Screen captures can show color,
font, client used, a variety of information that plain text
cant.
- TIP> do a FULL screen
capture, include the clock.. mouse over it to show date.... or
post the date and time in the room. then IMMEDIATELY ZIP the
file and upload it to a server.
- Don't EDIT OR ACCESS
IT>>> just save it...... the date and time uploaded is
noted in the ftp/server logs and you can copy that.. and law
enforcement or others can compare to the images in the zip files
date and time.
Contact the authorities where you
live and share the information you have saved. The screen captures
and transcripts will help you to file charges if need be.
Follow the chain of command, local police, FBI, then Interpol is
the offender is in Europe.
Contact your local police
department, contact the FBI, and contact the local district
attorney. If you do know who is harassing you online, and know where
they live, you should also contact the local police/ authorities
there. International cases will often be passed to Interpol. Take
care to flag any email that is also harassing in nature, and
immediately call FBI if any threat of injury or death is made.
No matter who you get involved,
remember that your actions will also be watched as they observe and
gather additional materials to prosecute the stalkers. So try not to
react, do make sure you have the KNOWN ids on ignore, and make
reasonable efforts to stay clear of them. Remember, most stalkers
are arrogant, self centered, masterful manipulators, jealous and are
targeting you for a real or imagines slight. Be very careful !
These people will do anything to attempt to justify their
persecutory and/or grandiose delusions. Realize that their role in
this is as a "victim" and they will see all actions on
your part as vindication of their delusions. BE CAREFUL.
IGNORE, BLOCK, FILTER!! and most of all DOCUMENT!!
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