{"article":{"id":43024,"heading":"TRYING TO HELP","author":"Dennis Miller","created":"2003-03-29 16:13:28","modified":"2013-11-10 23:51:49","last_modified":"Mon, 11 Nov 2013 06:51:49","article":"

All the rhetoric on whether or not we should go to war against Iraq has got my little brain spinning like a top.  I enjoy reading opinions from both sides, but I've detected a hint of confusion from some of you.

Maybe this can help.

As I was reading the paper recently, I was reminded of the best advice anyone ever gave me.  He told me about the \"KISS\" method (\"Keep It Simple,Stupid!\").  So with this as a theme, I'd like to apply this theory for those who don't quite get it.  

My hope is that we can simplify things and recognize a few important facts.

Here are ten things to consider when voicing an opinion on this important

issue:

(1) Between President Bush and Saddam Hussein ...Hussein is the bad guy.

(2) If you have faith in the United Nations to do the right things, keep this in mind:  

The UN has Libya heading the Committee on Human Rights and Iraq heading the Global Disarmament Committee.  Do your own math here.

(3) If you use a Google or Yahoo search and type in \"French Military Victories.\"

Don't be surprised if your computer panics at its inability to respond to your inquiry.

(4) If your only antiwar slogan is \"No War For Oil,\" hire a pit bull lawyer and sue your school district for having allowed you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the minimum education that any non-troglodyte

deserves.

(5) You can take this one to the bank:  

Saddam and Bin Laden will NOT seek

UN approval before they try to kill us.

(6) Despite common belief among some, Martin Sheen is NOT the President. He only plays one on TV.

(7) If you are antiwar and even an outright \"America Basher,\"

To Bin Laden you are still an \"infidel\"

whom he wants dead.

(8) Be careful:

If you believe in a \"vast right-wing conspiracy,\" but not in the danger that Hussein poses, the only job you may be able to get is as an Ivy League

college professor.

(9) Even multiculturalists who try to

browbeat us into believing that all cultures are equally deserving of respect have trouble explaining the past 500 years of Islam.

(10) Whether you are for or against military action, our young men and women overseas are fighting to defend our right to speak out on these issues.

They deserve our unreserved support.

I hope this helps.<\/p>\n","contact":"","link":"","address":"","phone":"","parent_id":0,"mime_type":"text\/plain","summary":"A little help for the confused.","numcomment":8,"fileurl":"\/uploads\/","filesize":null,"article_url":"\/news\/2003\/03\/43024.php"},"attachments":[],"comments":[{"id":43030,"heading":"deciphering truth from illusion","article":"An attempt at neocon humor?\r\n\r\nThe joke is on the American people. The theft of liberty is the story. The illusion of pandering corporate shills trying to justify massive death stikes on civilians who do not pose any threat to anyone is the lie. \r\n\r\nHumor, as Freud postulated, is an attempt to express something that is deeply and darkly painful. The above writer is trying to use humor to convince the reader that it is morally acceptable to build and stockpile death weapons, impose American hegemony over a subjected people, and deconstruct the Bill of Rights to satisfy arms makers, Monsanto, and the oil companies. \r\n\r\nThe really funny thing is that they are so out of touch with the will of the planet and the people of this American nation.","author":"Parmenides","parent_id":43024,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-03-29 16:30:32","modified":"2003-03-29 16:30:32","fileurl":""},{"id":43035,"heading":"Re: Dennis Miller","article":"Hi Dennis Miller, in an effort to help you, I thought I'd give you some advice:\r\n\r\nCome gather 'round people\r\nWherever you roam\r\nAnd admit that the waters\r\nAround you have grown\r\nAnd accept it that soon\r\nYou'll be drenched to the bone.\r\nIf your time to you\r\nIs worth savin'\r\nThen you better start swimmin'\r\nOr you'll sink like a stone\r\nFor the times they are a-changin'.\r\n\r\nCome writers and critics\r\nWho prophesize with your pen\r\nAnd keep your eyes wide\r\nThe chance won't come again\r\nAnd don't speak too soon\r\nFor the wheel's still in spin\r\nAnd there's no tellin' who\r\nThat it's namin'.\r\nFor the loser now\r\nWill be later to win\r\nFor the times they are a-changin'.\r\n\r\nCome senators, congressmen\r\nPlease heed the call\r\nDon't stand in the doorway\r\nDon't block up the hall\r\nFor he that gets hurt\r\nWill be he who has stalled\r\nThere's a battle outside\r\nAnd it is ragin'.\r\nIt'll soon shake your windows\r\nAnd rattle your walls\r\nFor the times they are a-changin'.\r\n\r\nCome mothers and fathers\r\nThroughout the land\r\nAnd don't criticize\r\nWhat you can't understand\r\nYour sons and your daughters\r\nAre beyond your command\r\nYour old road is\r\nRapidly agin'.\r\nPlease get out of the new one\r\nIf you can't lend your hand\r\nFor the times they are a-changin'.\r\n\r\nThe line it is drawn\r\nThe curse it is cast\r\nThe slow one now\r\nWill later be fast\r\nAs the present now\r\nWill later be past\r\nThe order is\r\nRapidly fadin'.\r\nAnd the first one now\r\nWill later be last\r\nFor the times they are a-changin'.\r\n","author":"The Anarchist Watching You","parent_id":43024,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-03-29 16:42:25","modified":"2003-03-29 16:42:25","fileurl":""},{"id":43044,"heading":"Dennis","article":"Hollywood whore.\r\nYou suck.\r\nHope you choke on Bush's cock.","author":"Sheepdog","parent_id":43024,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-03-29 16:56:48","modified":"2003-03-29 16:56:48","fileurl":""},{"id":43074,"heading":"Why do shills fall in love?","article":"The subtitle on the head article on this thread should be more like: \u201cA little confusing PR masquerading as \u201chelp\u201d.\r\n\r\nJust a couple of points as it is not worthy of more:\r\n\r\n\u201c1) Between President Bush and Saddam Hussein ...Hussein is the bad guy. \u201c\r\n\r\nThis is a nice example of trying to get you to accept the underlying unstated premise i.e., that Bush is a good guy. Which is a \u201cnon-sequitur\u201d - a fancy Latin term for \u201cdoes not follow\u201d. That Hussein is a Bastard is a given. That Bush is operating from goodness is shown to be untrue based upon the lie, after lie, after lie, after lie, which has been used to SELL this war, and his apparent unwillingness to seek a solution short of war or consider any solution not involving War.\r\n\r\nThe U.N. issue is a Red Herring. Bush sought a \u201cFig Leaf\u201d from the U.N. only because he was trying to gather more cover for his blatant aggression.\r\n\r\n\u201c(5) You can take this one to the bank: \u00a0 \r\n\r\nSaddam and Bin Laden will NOT seek \r\nUN approval before they try to kill us.\u201d\r\n\r\nNotice the SPIN (lie) here. The attempt to link Saddam and the C.I.A.\u2019s \u201crogue\u201d Bin Laden. It flunks the smell test.\r\n\r\n\u201c(7) If you are antiwar and even an outright "America Basher," \r\n\r\nTo Bin Laden you are still an "infidel" \r\nwhom he wants dead. \u201c\r\n\r\nIrrelevant as to determining whether the War is justified or not. More subtle PR to get you to accept the underlying premise. \u201cThe Boogie Man is coming to get you.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201c(9) Even multiculturalists who try to \r\nbrowbeat us into believing that all cultures are equally deserving of respect have trouble explaining the past 500 years of Islam.\u201d\r\n\r\nGratuitous PR SPIN to encourage hatred of \u201cthe enemy\u201d.\r\n\r\n\u201c(10) Whether you are for or against military action, our young men and women overseas are fighting to defend our right to speak out on these issues. \r\n\r\nThey deserve our unreserved support.\u201d\r\n\r\nYes. Bring them home alive. Send in the Shock Troops of raging NeoCon Chickenhawks to conduct their own God Damned War.\r\n\r\n\u201cI hope this helps.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnother lie - it should be read as \u201cI hope this confuses\u201d.","author":"Diogenes","parent_id":43024,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-03-29 17:25:55","modified":"2013-11-10 23:51:49","fileurl":""},{"id":43080,"heading":"The secret's out","article":"I am a simplistic moron who admits that his brain is not only little, but is also spinning like a top. Maybe I should put the crack pipe down once in a while?","author":"Dennis Miller","parent_id":43024,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-03-29 17:31:59","modified":"2003-03-29 17:31:59","fileurl":""},{"id":43092,"heading":"Please.","article":"I love how Diogenes, master of the outright lie, breaks it down for you and tells you how it's being perpetrated by Dennis Miller.\r\n\r\nI guess it really does take one to know one.","author":"Eric","parent_id":43024,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-03-29 17:47:49","modified":"2003-03-29 17:47:49","fileurl":""},{"id":43095,"heading":"Eric","article":"Yes, Eric. You are indeed living proof of the phrase "it takes one to know one." Thanks for believing in my ignorant rants.","author":"Dennis Miller","parent_id":43024,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-03-29 17:50:14","modified":"2003-03-29 17:50:14","fileurl":""},{"id":43479,"heading":"ok, dennis the minus","article":"As simplistic as it gets?\r\nwell a few others are more so....\r\nbut the miasmagoric-testosteronehinged-hormonicinduced-pelvicdriven-noncerebral peoples, at times, have their say","author":"d. duck","parent_id":43024,"mime_type":"text\/plain","created":"2003-03-30 00:29:15","modified":"2003-03-30 00:29:15","fileurl":""}]}