June 21, 2016
so I moved up here into the Yukon, and I even went as far as to change my name to Cornelius, (lets see how many people get that one), just so the humming birds can not find me. I have moved so far out in the middle of no where that the silence here is deafening. I have moved so far out in the middle of no where that as we said in the Marine Corpse, I have to have the day light pumped in. I never new you could get to a place this desolate and devoid of life with out being in Ohio. I had to check my GPS to be sure I didn't go the wrong way. Well, I was figuring I had out smarted the humming birds because I don't believe they will come this far north with the cooler temperatures. well, again as we used to say in the marines, pump me to tears. I walk out of my cabin door and what do I find, the little bastards hovering over the door, in parkas. they were staring at me so intently, I thought i was in a game of angry birds. They started to hum around me like bees. I started running, waving my arms over my head shoeing them away. I made the creek seconds ahead of them and dove in. I could look up at them and see them waiting above the water. they were really pissed. I thought they must be Africanized hummingbirds. I can't hold my breath forever so I have to figure this out quick, because playing dead isn't working for me. Suddenly it dawns on me.I jump up really quick and startle them and they all buzz away quickly. By the time they come back, I have my hands under my arm pits and I am humming, and flapping my arms and looking down at the water. It works. They think I am another humming bird. as they search the water for me, I start to slowly drift away from the group, still humming and flapping my arms as I move. Just as it seems like I am clear of trouble, I hear a loud growl behind me. I turn around and a brown bear stands up out of a bush behind me. as I look up at him towering over me, I nearly faint dead away and all lucid thought leaves me. I feel myself flapping my arms faster like I expect to really fly away. I resolve myself to being lunch, complete with the condiments in the back of my shorts. just then, the other hummingbirds show up and start swarming the bears' head. Now I know they are Africanized hummingbirds. They have accepted me as one of their own. thanks to the bear, and now the hummingbirds, I feel especially shitty. I start walking back toward Michigan, still flapping my arms and humming, the humming birds following along. This is going to be a long trip home.
https://sites.google.com/site/wortrunner/foster