“Look at the ass on her” Bloomberg, Mayor of New York City and certifiable idiot, has publicly come out in support of Uber-Idiot and CEO, Marissa Mayer, of Yahoo. According to “look at the ass on her” Bloomberg, “Telecommuting is dumb.” Ignoring for a moment the fact that “look at the ass on her” Bloomberg telecommutes most of the time, let us examine Mr. “look at the ass on her” Bloomberg’s primary reason for taking this position.

Here is Mr. Bloomberg’s take on telecommuting:

“Yes, there are some things you can do at home, but having a chat line is not the same thing as standing at the water cooler. And standing at the water cooler is where you get a lot of ideas and information and it’s a euphemism for a lot of interpersonal dialogue.”

Mr. Bloomberg, I suspect, has never had an original idea in his life. If he had, he’d know that most ideas come from human brains, not water coolers. If he is like most of the elite in our country, he steals whatever ideas he “gets” from people like me – those of us that create new ideas at home, or in our sleep, or while washing the dishes and then foolishly share them with our coworkers around the water cooler where idea thieves with much higher salaries are lurking and staring at the asses of our coworkers.

The fact is, the elite do not like to see the workforce telecommuting for a long list of reasons, none of which have anything to do with productivity and all of which have everything to do with control. Workers do not need to “hang around the water cooler” in order to exchange ideas. We can do that online via social netowrking. We don’t need the elite’s fucking water cooler. In fact, we don’t need their fucking offices either. Those of working on computers, don’t even need the company’s computers. Most of us already have our own. This leaves an obvious question in our minds: do we need the elite at all? The more we work in our own homes, the more it becomes obvious that we don’t need our capitalist overseers, and that, my friend, is why the “look at the ass on her” Bloombergs and the “I built a nursery next to my office” Mayers do not like the idea of telecommuting workers.