Blair goes 1984

It was a bright cold day in April, the clocks were striking thirteen and Big Tony decided BIG BROTHER WAS NOT WATCHING YOU ENOUGH.

“The Proles just don’t understand how we are trying to help them to a more ‘Positive Freedom’,” he told his clone Mili.



“Can’t anyone, excepte me, undersatnd that I’m not trying to exert even greater control over the masses, but to improve quality of life as intended for those who weren’t fortunate enough to go to public scool and Eton.”

“The Proles may not understand such a difficult concept as ‘Positive Freedom’ but I’m going to give it to them anyway, hee giggled.”

To further this I will split the Home Office in two.

A new Ministry of Justice, which will include a Ministry of love(run by Ruth Kelly) and a Ministry of Truth (run by Alastair Cambell) will replace the Department for Constitutional Affairs, in a bid to focus its attention on protecting and enlightening the Proles.

Anyone found to be "unfit for purpose" will be interviewed by Alastair and Abu Graibh type pressure applied if the Prole is found wanting.