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by Kenneth J. Theisen
Saturday, Sep. 23, 2006 at 10:49 AM
A satire about Bush
Recently President Bush was interviewed by Rapture Daily. Here are a few of the questions and answers.
Q: I understand that God often communicates with you? Is this true?
A: Yes it is my son. He often reached me in my dreams. For instance, last night I had a dream where the former Shah of Iran appeared to me. He informed me that God wants me to launch an attack to bring freedom and democracy to the people of Iran just like we have done in Afghanistan and Iraq.
Q: When do you plan on attacking?
A: Well fortunately Rummy and the fellows over at the Pentagon have been planning for this invasion for some time now. I guess God talks to Don too. And Dick tells me the attack can be launched at any time now. Of course we have to prepare the American public by generating some stories connecting Iran to 9/11 and terrorism in general. Dick is also keeping the pressure on the boys over at CIA working to develop intelligence that confirms that Iran is near to having a nuke. They are looking for that guy codenamed “Curveball” to help us out too. But as soon as God gives me the word, we are ready to go.
Q: Has God made any other important revelations to you lately?
A: Yes. God has told me to smite my enemies. We will soon award some more contracts to Halliburton subsidiary KBR to build more concentration, I mean detention camps. They did so well with the 5 million contract we gave them earlier this year to build immigrant emergency detention camps that Dick thought it was only fair to give them another billion to build camps for my enemies.
Q: Who will you put in these camps?
A: As you know, we have repeatedly warned folks that they are either with us or with the terrorists. So we have decided to put only those al-Qaeda types who are against us in the camps. List are being composed right now based on our monitoring of phone calls, e-mails, library records, videos rented, organizations joined, your ethnicity, you know things like that. I would like to put that snippety judge who made the remark about “hereditary kings” when she ruled against the NSA wiretap program in the camps, but some of my advisors say it may look bad at this time. We are also creating a toll free number so enemies of the state can be reported.
Q: Do you anticipate any more revelations from God that I can report to my readers at this time?
A: Well as you know he has been communicating regularly with me ever since he told me I should be president. I expect that I may soon hear from him about Syria and North Korea. I also recently had a dream where God told me that two terms as president may not be enough to do his work. So I think he may tell me what to do about that soon too.
Kenneth J. Theisen, the author, is an organizer with THE WORLD CAN’T WAIT! DRIVE OUT THE BUSH REGIME! For more information about driving out the regime, please see worldcantwait.org.
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