The Devil and George W. Bush

On September 20, 2006 at the U.N., Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez referred to President George W. Bush as an imperialist devil. In the words of Chavez, Bush, “As a spokesman of imperialism, he came to [the U.N] to share his nostrums, to try to preserve the current pattern of domination, exploitation and pillage of the peoples of the world.”

While this is certainly true, WCW wants to set the record straight as to whether Bush is actually the devil. WCW has come into possession of wire taps sent to us by the Devil’s World Security Agency. These tapes show that Bush is not the devil, but that he tried to cut a deal with the devil. The transcript of the tape reads as follows:

Devil: Hello, what can I do for you?

Bush: Hi, this is the President of the U.S. I have been doing your work for many years here on earth and now I have a favor to ask.

Devil: How did you get my direct line?

Bush: Cheney gave it to me. He said you would not mind. He says he calls you all the time.

Devil: Oh Dick! I thought that maybe Karl Rove had given it to you. Ok, what is the favor you want? I guess I owe you something after all these years of dedication on your part to my work.

Bush: Well as you probably know, I have not been so popular lately and I am having a problem fooling the people of the world now. Some of my projects have been having problems too. You know Dick told me that those people in Iraq would toss flowers at my troops back in 2003. But all we seem to get thrown at us is rocks and explosives. Even Afghanistan which I thought was all wrapped up is now exploding in our face. And here at home, people keep reminding the public about New Orleans and Katrina, my spy agencies, torture, increasing destruction of civil rights, global warming and my destruction of the environment, etc. Some nights I can hardly sleep with all my problems.

Devil: So why are you calling me now?

Bush: Well you see we have this upcoming attack on Iran planned. And if people do not believe me, I may not be able to convince them that we are only doing it to bring liberty to the Iranians and in order to prevent those Mullahs from getting WMDs that they will then turn over to their terrorist allies. I do not understand as that lie worked so well with Iraq. I even got most of the Democratic leaders to sign on to that invasion. What am I doing wrong now? I am following the same game plan as last time. But it seems that most people can now tell that I am lying.

Devil: Well as you know George you can’t fool all of the people, all of the time. And I just do not give out favors for no reason, what do you have to trade?

Bush: Well Karl, Dick, Rummy and the others suggested that I trade my soul to you for some credibility with the people of the world. They all said that when they traded their souls to you that you gave them a good deal. So I am offering my soul to you.

Devil: I have to tell you that your soul has no value to me George. You have had a long standing reservation down here. I already have your soul. I am afraid you are on your own George. Besides giving you credibility is even beyond my power. The only people that may believe you now are some of those Christian fascists whose souls I also own.

Bush: Well then to hell with you!

Devil: No George, to hell with you.

The author, Kenneth J. Theisen, is an organizer with The World Can’t Wait! Drive Out the Bush Regime! To find out how you can join in the movement to oust the Bust regime, see worldcantwait.org.