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If Stupidity Were Impeachable, Cheney'd be History

by Dave Lindorff Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2006 at 2:27 PM
dlindorff@yahoo.com

Cheney misfired and bagged a GOP donor instead of a quail. And there are some big questions about the official story about this vice presidential shooting incident.

Deadeye Dick, vice president and regent of this great nation, set out to shoot himself a quail in Texas this weekend, swung around and unloaded his shotgun at his host, attorney Harry Whittington, this weekend, sending the unfortunate and no doubt surprised man to the hospital, his face and chest full of shot.

It was vintage Cheney when you think of it.
With the country loaded and on the hunt for Osama Bin Laden in Afghanistan, Cheney and his neo-con gang swung the army around and fired at Saddam Hussein and Iraq, leaving that country staggering and massively wounded. Like the quail he took his eye off of, Osama and his gang are free as...well, birds, plotting more mayhem.

Meanwhile, Deadeye Dick, having created a bloody mess in Iraq, has already gotten his ward President Bush to swing around towards Syria and Iran. He and Bush have already decided they've spent enough on "ebuilding" Iraq, so now they're about to blast Iran and/or Syria.

If Iraq is any indication of this man's sense of responsibility and willingness to pay for his mistakes , Whittington better have some good insurance--either that or a good lawyer. Cheney's liable to just split and leave Whittington with the bill.

I guess, given the Vice President's demonstrated skill with a gun, we should probably be glad he ducked the draft and missed Vietnam. He probably would have ended up being one of those dumb bozos who were responsible for all those "friendly fire" casualties over there.

Which raises the question: Was the VEEP, like so many tough-guy hunters, juiced for this hunt? That would add the element of negligence to his basic stupidity. There are some suspicious things about this incident:

* First off, Cheney waited 24 hours to report the shooting. Very odd. His office claimed it was "out of respect" for the owner of the property, Katherine Armstrong, who claims she forgot for a day because of concerns for Whittington. Could the delay have had more to do with clearing Cheney's blood of alcohol, and getting everyone's stories lined up?

* Second, the story that Whittington exited the vehicle the tough-guy hunters were riding in to look for a quail he'd just shot, and that Cheney then got out to check out a second covey of quail sounds queer. When someone fires a shotgun, typically all quail in the area take flight. It seems unlikely Cheney could have found another covey right nearby.

For other stories by Lindorff, please go (at no charge) to This Can't Be Happening! .

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Photo of VP with gun

by FYI Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2006 at 7:58 PM

Photo of VP with gun...
cheneygun.jpg, image/jpeg, 400x258

!
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He Acted

by Confused Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2006 at 2:22 AM

He acted on faulty inteligence.
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get over it

by Dead Alert Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2006 at 2:34 AM

-Osama and his gang are free as...well, birds, plotting more mayhem.

Tell us another fairy tail. Like he was able to pull of the NORAD stand down.
Ha ha ha ha
Where do these clowns come from. ?
-
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Guns

by johnk Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2006 at 9:32 AM

"Guns don't kill people. People kill people."
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Guns

by pointer Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2006 at 1:20 PM

Good one. Check it out:

http://www.sfbg.com/nessie/33.html
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Creepy Veep's fishy tale of 'friendly' fire

by DLi Thursday, Feb. 16, 2006 at 12:32 AM

Call me skeptical, but the more you read about the tale of Slimy Dick's bad shot, the fishier the tale gets.

First, the ranch lady claimed the 'accident' occurred around 5:30pm. But the Whitey House said it was informed around 8:00pm, about an hour after the shooting. If the WH is truthful(don't laugh, I know that's a 'long shot'), that would put the actual shooting time around 7:00pm, well past the Texas legal time limit for quail hunting of 6:48pm, 30 minutes after sunset. Um, could the Prince of Darkness have been firing in the dark??

Secondly, it was claimed that the victim of this wanton & reckless shooting, Mr. Wittington, came up from behind the Halliburton CEO. That would seem to suggest that Dickie C would turn 180 degrees in order to fire off a shot, a highly athletic manuever AND an especially unlikely scenario, to say the least(given the degraded agility of the Veep, who had just been recovering from his aneurism operation just a few months back!)

Finally, this latest twist of Mr. Wittington's condition turning worse after a slight 'recovery' sounds even more suspicious. Could the 78-year old 'liberal' Texas attorney actually have been in a comatose state since the shooting 'accident' last Saturday? I dunno, but my hunch is that the Whitey House and Washington's most notorious 'empty warhead' have a lot of explaining to do, and so far the corporate bin-Laden media have not seriously demanded direct answers from a chief Chickenhawk who couldn't shoot straight.

Will we see more bizarre developments coming out of this hunting 'accident' in the next fortnight??
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Bush's reaction

by Quayle hunter Thursday, Feb. 16, 2006 at 1:38 AM

When W. Bush was told his VP had shot a man while hunting quail he responded:

"Why was Cheney trying to shoot my dad's Vice President?"
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once again I have to correct Scorpio

by Pete Nice Friday, Feb. 17, 2006 at 12:57 AM

I think you meant January 20, 2009. The election is in '08.
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Since you're all waiting for it..

by fresca Friday, Feb. 17, 2006 at 1:41 AM

...here's my take.

Big fucking deal.

A planer case of a simple accident you'd be hard pressed to contrive.
Any conspiracy theories built around this are truly up the with those of the rarified "chemtrails" variety.

That said, it's too bad they all didn't accidentally unload their guns into each other.

Much more germaine to this issue is the idea that all hunters should be murdered.
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Scorpy

by Pete Nice Friday, Feb. 17, 2006 at 10:16 PM

Thanks for the kind words.
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kaboom

by johnk Wednesday, Feb. 22, 2006 at 10:56 AM

Just adding this for all the googlers who stumble here.

Dick shot at close range, not 90 feet.
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