10. At least he's better than Lieberman.
9. Snubbing of Iowa caucus shows respect for Moore's beloved Midwest.
8. Moore has been replaced by an evil clone from an alternate universe.
7. Hopes this will get Nader-haters off his back
6. Clark says he'll “relook” at “Don't ask/Don't tell.” Satisfied?
5.5. Use of “relook” as a verb appeals to Moore's “folksiness”
5. Great education agenda, evidenced by full support of the School of the Americas.
4. Wes has Mike's dear old grandmother tied up in a basement somewhere.
3. Wes has nuke aimed at Flint, MI.
2. All that “raise your expectations, vote your conscience,” stuff was soooo 2000.
1. Sick of just writing about Stupid White Men, wanted the experience.
(Props to the Aaron McGruder for inspiration on 4 and 8.)
Copyright 2004 by Mr. Goat and Laika—feel free to reproduce with credit.