Anal Sex Byproduct Named for Senator Santorum
by uma om • Thursday, Dec. 11, 2003 at 7:55 PM

Lube-and-fecal matter mix takes name of anti-gay U.S. Senator.

Anal Sex Byproduct Named for Senator Santorum

Internationally syndicated sex columnist, Dan Savage has launched a sweeping campaign to introduce a new word, "santorum," into the English language. Mr. Savage defines "santorum," which is named for U.S. Senator, Rick Santorum as "The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex."

Mr. Savage's column, "Savage Love" appears in over seventy newspapers in the United States, Canada, Europe and Asia. His effort to introduce "santorum" into popular parlance comes in response to a series of bigoted remarks made by Senator Santorum in reference to homosexuals. To help popularize the new word, the columnist has launched a website, www.spreadingsantorum.com, which includes a comprehensive selection of santorum-related letters, songs, merchandise, pictures, fun facts and recipes.

The new word is spreading fast. In addition to entries in the Urban Dictionary and the Glossary of Perversion, the site boasts numerous testimonials from readers who report hearing it used in countries as diverse as Cuba, Belgium and China. Google currently ranks www.spreadingsantorum.com as the fourth most relevant site corresponding to a search for "santorum."

Mr. Savage says that matching a credible-sounding name with a gap in the English language was the key to the santorum campaign's success.

"What works so well about santorum is that a smart Savage Love reader linked Senator Santorum's vaguely clinical-sounding name with something distinctly scatological, an anal-sex-induced bodily fluid that had previously lacked a really good name. 'Santorum' sounds like it could be what that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter has always been called, and that's why it's caught on."

The santorum crusade began in April, 2003 when the Pennsylvanian senator told reporters from the Associated Press that he hoped the United States Supreme Court would uphold anti-gay sodomy laws and compared consensual gay sex to incest, bigamy, adultery, and "man-on-dog" sex. The comments inspired a suggestion from a Savage Love reader that a sex act be named for Santorum "so that the episode would never be forgotten."

In response, Mr. Savage solicited readers' suggestions for a worthy "santorum" definition. More than 3000 nominations poured in. Nine made it to a shortlist. Readers voted overwhelmingly for "The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex." The rest is history.

Although Senator Santorum is generally despised by Savage's readership, a few fans have challenged the fairness of forever linking him (and, by proxy, his family or anyone unlucky enough to share his name) to the previously anonymous "frothy mixture." But Savage is unapologetic.

"I understand that there are some innocent Santorums out there. But I see it like this: It sure sucked to be Fred and Ethel Hitler of Columbus, Ohio, back in 1943, didn't it? Or Bill Himmler? Or a Quisling in Norway after the war? Or a no-relation Lewinsky? Or an Oswald in 1963? Or Mary Sue bin Laden in upstate New York in 2001? My point is, sometimes a perfectly good name is stolen from a family, sometimes it's ruined in fact, by the actions of one bad, wayward, idiotic, or downright evil person, and it's the bad, wayward, idiotic, or evil person who shared your name that's to blame, not the general public."

Senator Santorum has declined to comment on the new homonym for his last name. But he may have trouble avoiding the matter forever.

In addition to encouraging readers to post links to the Spreading Santorum website and lobby for an entry in the Oxford English Dictionary, Mr. Savage has offered a gift pack including a case of lube, a selection of santorum-themed T-shirts and copies of Anal Pleasure & Health and The Big Book of Masturbation to anyone who can get a quote from Santorum (the senator) on santorum (the lube-and-fecal-matter mix).

"Let's keep spreading the word," Savage says. "Soon santorum will be on everyone's lips."

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www. spreadingsantorum. com

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