Extreme Makeover
by Bridget Gibson    June 12, 2003




There is an old joke about the death of a patient after surgery: The operation was successful, but the patient died.
The success of the Bush administration in overhauling the image of the United States of America has been phenomenal.

In just more than two years our country has surpassed and is approaching records in so many categories it is hard to keep up. Here are a few of the highlights:

We have had the fewest press conferences with any standing president in our country's history. (Having someone make a speech without taking questions is not a "press conference.")

We have scorned and abandoned international treaties.

We have a highest per capita number of prison inmates than any other civilized nation.

We have the highest annual deficit on record.

We have the highest number of uninsured on record.

We have created a concentration camp in Guantanamo Bay, complete with an execution chamber.

We have waged war against two nations simultaneously - while considering which other nations to invade and attack pre-emptively (Bush Doctrine introduced in October 2002).

We have ceased to regard the Constitution as the law of the land and are incarcerating citizens without charges or representation.
Oh, but it is a Brave New World Order that we have created! America the Beautiful, how I hardly know you.
Our Pentagon has relied upon the word of a convicted embezzler for the information regarding the Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs) that Iraq supposedly possessed. Upon this scoundrel's word we have lobbed more than 20,000 bombs into a country that is now in complete chaos and which falls deeper into a quagmire with each passing day.
Yesterday Mr. Ahmed Chalabi decided to tell another whopper: He saw Elvis (oops! I mean Saddam) passing out dollar bills to incite the murder of our service men and women. There can be no other reason for the flower throwing Iraqis to have such a change of heart in desiring the occupation of their nation by our armed personnel.
That our 'liberal' media promotes the printing of such spurious claims by such a discredited figure only adds to its credibility. No corporate or conservative media would espouse such lies and misrepresentations! Who would they (the lies and the liars) serve?
By never questioning the source and the credibility of these stories, our 'liberal' media has led us to war and has given us the profile of a third world nation.
Who needs to count all the votes in an election when you can count on a partisan court for the appointment of your leaders? Why ask for any sacrifices from those that have benefitted from the success of the country to make their millions to pay for the armed guards that will incarcerate the dissenters? It is so much easier to forget about the ruined lives and the devastation wrought by bad policies than to face the fact that you have been lied to and mislead in such a grievous fashion.
Just go back to sleep citizens. There's no story here.
Copyright 2001-2003 AmericaHeldHostile.com. All rights reserved.

It is all true; the Iraqis have a ray gun so powerful that it is capable of destroying Bush's only brain cell at a range of 7,000 miles. Jack Daniels took care of the rest of the cells, not that there were there were that many to begin with.

...to be able to hit such a tiny target from so far away.

I don't worry too much about hitting ONLY the specific target.
I heard this term on a rare ocasion in the outside world.
collateral damage. I find the concept useful. Where is that ringing
coming from? It's making me mad.

Actually, there are weapons of mass destruction that have destroyed billions of brain cells in the United States. They are called television sets.