|
printable version
- js reader version
- view hidden posts
- tags and related articles
View article without comments
by Dennis Miller
Saturday, Mar. 29, 2003 at 4:13 PM
A little help for the confused.
All the rhetoric on whether or not we should go to war against Iraq has got my little brain spinning like a top. I enjoy reading opinions from both sides, but I've detected a hint of confusion from some of you.
Maybe this can help.
As I was reading the paper recently, I was reminded of the best advice anyone ever gave me. He told me about the "KISS" method ("Keep It Simple,Stupid!"). So with this as a theme, I'd like to apply this theory for those who don't quite get it.
My hope is that we can simplify things and recognize a few important facts.
Here are ten things to consider when voicing an opinion on this important
issue:
(1) Between President Bush and Saddam Hussein ...Hussein is the bad guy.
(2) If you have faith in the United Nations to do the right things, keep this in mind:
The UN has Libya heading the Committee on Human Rights and Iraq heading the Global Disarmament Committee. Do your own math here.
(3) If you use a Google or Yahoo search and type in "French Military Victories."
Don't be surprised if your computer panics at its inability to respond to your inquiry.
(4) If your only antiwar slogan is "No War For Oil," hire a pit bull lawyer and sue your school district for having allowed you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the minimum education that any non-troglodyte
deserves.
(5) You can take this one to the bank:
Saddam and Bin Laden will NOT seek
UN approval before they try to kill us.
(6) Despite common belief among some, Martin Sheen is NOT the President. He only plays one on TV.
(7) If you are antiwar and even an outright "America Basher,"
To Bin Laden you are still an "infidel"
whom he wants dead.
(8) Be careful:
If you believe in a "vast right-wing conspiracy," but not in the danger that Hussein poses, the only job you may be able to get is as an Ivy League
college professor.
(9) Even multiculturalists who try to
browbeat us into believing that all cultures are equally deserving of respect have trouble explaining the past 500 years of Islam.
(10) Whether you are for or against military action, our young men and women overseas are fighting to defend our right to speak out on these issues.
They deserve our unreserved support.
I hope this helps.
Report this post as:
by Parmenides
Saturday, Mar. 29, 2003 at 4:30 PM
An attempt at neocon humor?
The joke is on the American people. The theft of liberty is the story. The illusion of pandering corporate shills trying to justify massive death stikes on civilians who do not pose any threat to anyone is the lie.
Humor, as Freud postulated, is an attempt to express something that is deeply and darkly painful. The above writer is trying to use humor to convince the reader that it is morally acceptable to build and stockpile death weapons, impose American hegemony over a subjected people, and deconstruct the Bill of Rights to satisfy arms makers, Monsanto, and the oil companies.
The really funny thing is that they are so out of touch with the will of the planet and the people of this American nation.
Report this post as:
by The Anarchist Watching You
Saturday, Mar. 29, 2003 at 4:42 PM
Hi Dennis Miller, in an effort to help you, I thought I'd give you some advice:
Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.
Report this post as:
by Sheepdog
Saturday, Mar. 29, 2003 at 4:56 PM
Hollywood whore.
You suck.
Hope you choke on Bush's cock.
Report this post as:
by Diogenes
Saturday, Mar. 29, 2003 at 5:25 PM
The subtitle on the head article on this thread should be more like: “A little confusing PR masquerading as “help”.
Just a couple of points as it is not worthy of more:
“1) Between President Bush and Saddam Hussein ...Hussein is the bad guy. “
This is a nice example of trying to get you to accept the underlying unstated premise i.e., that Bush is a good guy. Which is a “non-sequitur” - a fancy Latin term for “does not follow”. That Hussein is a Bastard is a given. That Bush is operating from goodness is shown to be untrue based upon the lie, after lie, after lie, after lie, which has been used to SELL this war, and his apparent unwillingness to seek a solution short of war or consider any solution not involving War.
The U.N. issue is a Red Herring. Bush sought a “Fig Leaf” from the U.N. only because he was trying to gather more cover for his blatant aggression.
“(5) You can take this one to the bank:
Saddam and Bin Laden will NOT seek
UN approval before they try to kill us.”
Notice the SPIN (lie) here. The attempt to link Saddam and the C.I.A.’s “rogue” Bin Laden. It flunks the smell test.
“(7) If you are antiwar and even an outright "America Basher,"
To Bin Laden you are still an "infidel"
whom he wants dead. “
Irrelevant as to determining whether the War is justified or not. More subtle PR to get you to accept the underlying premise. “The Boogie Man is coming to get you.”
“(9) Even multiculturalists who try to
browbeat us into believing that all cultures are equally deserving of respect have trouble explaining the past 500 years of Islam.”
Gratuitous PR SPIN to encourage hatred of “the enemy”.
“(10) Whether you are for or against military action, our young men and women overseas are fighting to defend our right to speak out on these issues.
They deserve our unreserved support.”
Yes. Bring them home alive. Send in the Shock Troops of raging NeoCon Chickenhawks to conduct their own God Damned War.
“I hope this helps.”
Another lie - it should be read as “I hope this confuses”.
Report this post as:
by Dennis Miller
Saturday, Mar. 29, 2003 at 5:31 PM
I am a simplistic moron who admits that his brain is not only little, but is also spinning like a top. Maybe I should put the crack pipe down once in a while?
Report this post as:
by Eric
Saturday, Mar. 29, 2003 at 5:47 PM
I love how Diogenes, master of the outright lie, breaks it down for you and tells you how it's being perpetrated by Dennis Miller.
I guess it really does take one to know one.
Report this post as:
by Dennis Miller
Saturday, Mar. 29, 2003 at 5:50 PM
Yes, Eric. You are indeed living proof of the phrase "it takes one to know one." Thanks for believing in my ignorant rants.
Report this post as:
by d. duck
Sunday, Mar. 30, 2003 at 12:29 AM
As simplistic as it gets?
well a few others are more so....
but the miasmagoric-testosteronehinged-hormonicinduced-pelvicdriven-noncerebral peoples, at times, have their say
Report this post as:
|