concerned

by Dan Gerous Tuesday, Mar. 11, 2003 at 12:04 AM

Letter to G W

Hey G W

It’s your old frat buddy dropping you a note.

I just wanted to express my concern over this

Iraq woman. I know she’s got a lot of dough and

could easily take care of you, but she’s already

hooked on this Saddam guy. I don’t think she’ll

jump on your horse and ride off with you, I mean

your dad only made it to first base with her.

No, she likes it right there. She has a family and

her family would miss her. Besides you already

have a wife. Yeah, remember you placed your hand

an the bible and made a vow. Your wife is beginning

to miss you and in fact is a little upset with you

neglecting her. She can’t afford books for the

kids so they’re not in school now. She can’t afford

health care and all you seem to be concerned about

is buying more bullets for hunting and cutting

down the tree in the front yard “‘cause it might

catch fire”. I know you think that this Saddam guy

is a threat to your wife, but I think that comes from

what that Osama guy did to her. You’re getting a

little paranoid and everybody is looking like a threat

to you now. Just remember this Saddam guy is

surrounded by your buddies and he can’t do anything

to your wife while he is. So just calm down and

focus on your wife. Be sure she’s safe in her house

and please quit scaring her it makes her nervous,

uncertain, and psycologcally drained. Plus she hasn’t

gone shopping much lately and you know how much

she loves to do that.

Sincerely

concerned frat jock

Original: concerned