My fellow Americans:

After consulting with our loyal allies in Europe, speaking with United Nations officials, reading major American newspapers, listening to National Public Radio, consulting with Hollywood movie stars, and meeting with professors from our universities, I have changed my mind.

They are right.

I now realize that the most important goal America and its president can pursue is to be liked, hopefully loved, by mankind, and especially by France, Germany, China, and the Arab world.

I now realize that we Americans who think in terms of good and evil are simpletons. We should think, as the professors do, in multicultural terms and, therefore, render no moral judgment over Iraq or any other nation except Israel. Who am I to declare any regimes an "axis of evil"?

I now realize that it was arrogance to make such a judgment on three regimes governed by men whom I should have tried better to understand. Now that I realize America's pr! imary goal is to be liked, I will never again call any regime evil. In fact, in consultation with the presidents and deans of our major universities, I have decided to rename the governments of Iraq, Iran and North Korea an Axis of Diversity.

I now realize that the only reason I ever considered putting thousands of young American lives in jeopardy was because of oil. I was deluded in thinking that Saddam Hussein might use his weapons of destruction against vast numbers of innocents, or to think because Saddam erased a sovereign nation from the map in 1991, he would contemplate doing such a thing again. The French have taught me that the way to deal with people whom I used to believe were evil is by giving them business contracts.

Yes, all these people knew better than I that I considered attacking Iraq only in order to obtain cheap gas for American SUVs. Even though it would have cost us far more money to topple Saddam Hussein than we would make from Iraqi oil. E! ven though I could simply have done what the French and Russians have done -- make deals with Saddam to buy all the oil we want. And even though we publicly promised that after Saddam, Iraqi oil will belong to the Iraqi people.

Despite all that, the left somehow recognized that a war against Iraq was really only a way to enrich my oil buddies. The left, whom I used to foolishly identify with appeasing and defending evil, have opened my eyes. They are right that nothing America does is out of a sense of mission to lead humanity in confronting evil. That was all a cover up for our true motivation -- more wealth. That is why we alone stand by Israel -- for all that oil in the Negev. That is why we protect Taiwan -- for Taiwan's bounteous natural resources. From now on, our moral model must be the Europeans who shape their Middle Eastern policies so as to be loved by 200 million Arabs rather than by a few million Israelis.

I now realize that America must be guided by! Germany with its 100-year record of moral leadership; by France with nearly as long a record of standing up to evil; by our university professors, who almost alone in America understand that America and Israel are the world's villains; by the United Nations, which was so prescient in doing nothing during the Rwanda genocide and today provides more moral light with Syria on its Security Council and Libya heading its Human Rights Commission; by The New York Times and other newspapers that so insightfully attacked President Ronald Reagan for labeling the Soviet Union an evil empire; and by China, which I used to identify with cultural genocide in Tibet, but thanks to my new desire to be loved, I will now regard only as a huge potential source of love and cheap imports.

My fellow Americans, I will no longer be calling you "my fellow Americans," but rather, "my fellow earthlings" or "my fellow citizens of the world." Nor will I conclude this or any future address by asking ! that God bless America. That annoys secular Europe, and if we aim to be loved, we can no longer speak in religious terms.

Finally, given my new belief that America's task in the world is not to lead but to be loved, I have decided to step down from the presidency as soon as Congress and the states pass a constitutional amendment allowing Al Gore to be president. He, my predecessor President Clinton, and the whole Democratic Party have long believed that America's purpose is to be loved. They should be governing.

My fellow world citizens, peace and love.

The democratic and republican parties are essentially the same party, in any other nation they would be the same nation, they both achieve the same ends but through different means. Two party systems are one party away from being the single ruling party.

As a minority who has repeatedly experienced first-hand the sadness of racial discrimination (both in the U.S. and in other countries), I want to show my appreciation for the people of the Democratic party who continue to campaign for true equality between whites and coloured people. As for the Republican haters such as Bush admirer... fortunately they and their kind will eventually become extinct.

big it up for the republican party and their suburban white christian conservative bullshit.

bush admirer go clean the shit from ur mouth

btw bush admirer you only hate the liberals because they are "good honest people who tell it like it is" and you cant handle that...

you fuckin idiot man
what a fuckin stupid argument you use to support that redneck bbq bastard bush "hes a good honest guy who tells it how it is"
how the fuck do you know? u konw the guy personally? he works for your father? he fucked u in ur ass and gave it to you the way he said he would?

listen bastard... ask your fuckin boyfriend bush where the fuck osama is now...

...bush failed. hes a fuck...
and again pls wipe the shit thats comin out of ur mouth

Orios, Rice and Powell; black on the outside white
( a shame to my color ) on the inside.
Shleps who suck up to anyone with power and title.

BushBlower, what is this playground shit...posting an article and then posting your little cheer afterwards....youre such a little fuckin' cheerleader, I bet you got your ass kicked alot when you were in school.