I am noted as an authority on most things football. When I coached Forest we had some lovely blokes in shorts and jerseys.. Now I don't know much about this war in Iraq, but when we played Derby County, that was a no-prisoner type of affair. Me and Peter Taylor used to meet up in the King's Head and ply dominoes, and the winner got to kick to the city end of the ground in the second half. Unfortunately, Peter died, and I never went to his funeral. But when you consider I wasn't given the England manager's job, that is nothing. Peter and I were both very keen on dogs. He had a nice German Shepherd, I had my wife. My son Nigel played over 300 times for Forest, Liverpool and England. He now coaches non-league Burton Albion while I do the dishes for me missus. I've always voted Labour, though last year I voted Socialist Labour, because the candidate had big tits

Thinking about the upcoming war really makes me sad. I hope you will all join with me in wishing both sides well, and let's hope it's a good clean fight. Should it be a draw, I hope they don't go for penalties until we've had atleast an hour of extra time followed by golden goal. My wife loves that!

See you all next weeK!

Scored a great goal for Palace today to upset Liverpool!