A funny article on the Oscars

errorWe like to thank the Academy�and the whiners
If you did not expect the whinefest following the historic 2002 Academy Awards where African Americans took the Best Actor and Actress award home and Sidney Poitier had an Oscar given to him in recognition for his lifetime work, you really need to get out more. If there is one thing that comes like clockwork is criticism whenever blacks achieve a goal that has eluded us, and it will often come from three sources. One will be the open racists, and that's a given. Another will be from conservatives who will say the same things as the open racists, but will preface it by declaring they are not racist and may even make note of a black person they like. The third is from African-American nationalists who are pissed that whomever achieved whatever goal they attained might have sold their soul in order to do it. Halle Berry has been getting the brunt of a lot of the attacks, her website even being hacked by someone who, investigators believe was a disgruntled Nicole Kidman fan. Denzel Washington had a few barbs as well, but not to the extent of Berry. We wanted to take the time here to extend our thanks to notable people who sought fit to honor Berry, Washington, Poitier, and Will Smith in their special vitriolic way. We do not include the open white racists in this, because come on. They have this entire website dedicated to their stupidity!

SPECIAL THANKS TO...

Howard Stern. For the week after the Academy Awards, Stern and his crew on the radio trained their uneducated guns on Berry, saying that being black didn't matter in receiving the award. When Berry dedicated the Oscar to "every nameless faceless woman of color that now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened," one of Stern's flunkies even had the audacity to ask, "When were they closed?" If it didn't matter, 74 years would not have gone by without a black actress being recognized and there would have been a far greater number than the seven African Americans that have been. Also despite the fact that many an actress, like Susan Lucci when she received her Emmy, has expressed great emotion when they have been awarded without as much as a word said from anyone, Stern, as did many of Berry's detractors felt she had to be blasted for it. We extend this thanks to a man for letting us know that we are still getting under his skin, a place we enjoy being. It should be noted that Stern talks a lot about getting beaten up by blacks when he was a kid. It seems like these days Stern uses his radio show to suck on some sour grapes with the black community, and the only thing we get from sour grapes is a whine.

Ann Coulter. The Oscars gave Ms. Coulter a break from defaming Arabs, bringing her back to her mainstay defamation subject of African-Americans. It also gave her the chance to attack any white person that associates with African Americans. In an article she titled, "I Like Black People Too, Julia!" (All together now: "YEAH, RIGHT!"), she accused Berry of race-baiting, saying she had "successfully mau-maued her way to a best actress award and then acted surprised." If Coulter cannot get any more pathetic, she then took it upon herself to question how black Berry is! "She was raised by her white mother who was beaten and abandoned by her black father. Clearly, Berry has calculated that it is more advantageous for her acting career to identify with the man who abandoned her rather than the woman who raised her." Guess it didn't matter that "the woman who raised her," whom Berry has called her hero, was there with her in the Kodak Theatre! Of course, Coulter has never let her sense of reasoning get in the way of her vitriol, because she then takes shots at Berry for doing a nude scene "When they are young, nubile Hollywood actresses all utter the same idiotic clich�s about the artistic value of nudity in movies," she writes. "Then they expect us to feel sorry for them when parts dry up after they become old and start to sag. Live by the breast, die by the breast." Jodie Foster, who won for The Accused in 1988, and Gweneth Paltrow, who won for Shakespeare in Love ten years later are still enjoying lucrative careers many of the roles not requiring them to bare their breasts as they did in the roles that gave them Oscars. Most importantly, not a word about either of those roles has been heard from Coulter.

Don't worry though, she did like Denzel Washington and thought she deserved the Oscar, but alas, she had a problem with the white actress Julia Roberts being happy for her friend. "Berry's self-aggrandizing pap was merely a footnote to the main theme of the awards ceremony, which was: Julia Roberts loves all the black brothers!" she wrote. "It was a point she felt could not be made too often or with too much condescension. Her presentation of the best actor award began with the exciting revelation that she had just kissed Sidney Poitier!

"Having once famously proclaimed she did not want to live in a world in which Denzel Washington had not won an Oscar for best actor, she preceded her announcement of his award saying, 'I love my life!' Coulter continued. "This was about her, not him. It was her personal triumph over racism. The only patronizing remark Roberts skipped was to note that Washington and Poitier were 'articulate.'"

Coulter used this opportunity to touch on the whites who actually do like black people, suggesting (somewhat correctly in some cases, actually) that the sentiments displayed are nothing more than to ensure a safety net for whites in trouble. "Whenever white liberals are in trouble, they always run to the blacks. Immediately after the Monica Lewinsky scandal broke, Monica went to a Washington Wizards game where she hoisted some poor unsuspecting black girl onto her lap in full view of the cameras. Bill Clinton dropped the subtlety and dashed off to Africa. After his abomination of a presidency, Jimmy Carter built housing in Harlem."

A Republican, Coulter left out former NJ Governor and current EPA Administrator Christie "Sweeney" Todd Whitman, who each time she found herself in racist heat made some self-serving overture to the black community. For the record, now that Coulter has been catching hell for all the anti-Arab attacks she has been making since September 11, she has been reported as dating an Arab man. This news by the way has pissed off her fan club at Freak Republic.

Coulter complained about Roberts embracing Washington as they left the stage. "Whatever indignities Hollywood has visited on blacks in the past, it would be hard to top this," Coulter wrote in regards to that, but we are thanking her here because in her diatribe, she did just that, displaying the race-baiting that she accused Berry of. Keep writing, Coulter. If it was not for you we would not be able to show the world exactly what mainstream conservative racism looks like.

Ilana Mercer. If you are Jewish, and Aryan Nations likes you so much they are posting your article on their listserv, you really had better take a good, hard look at yourself. Such is the case with this woman, whose article "Affirmative Oscars" found Ms. Mercer a fan base among the white supremacist group. Originaly published on the World Net Daily website, Mercer tried the basic conservative approach to racism: say there isn't any. "The guilt trip about talented black actors being denied recognition due to the inextricable racism of mainstreamers�is inaccurate, as are all half truths," she wrote. "If black actors per se were in great demand among the movie-going public, moviemakers would be rushing to recruit them for more roles."

Umm�Mercer, that's the point. Black actors had not been in great demand because of the racism of society that you care not to acknowledge. This woman must have been a lot of fun in South Africa, where her father was an anti-apartheid activist.

She didn't stop there, she then decided to play movie critic, attacking not only the performances of Berry and Washington as unworthy but other black actors and actresses like Angela Bassett with DiNiro in The Score. "Perhaps strapping electrodes to a white man's genitals, and shocking him each time Pamela Anderson appears on the screen will turn him on to black actresses for good," she wrote. "Somehow I doubt it. Hormones are politically incorrect. You can take away college placements and Oscars from worthy white guys, but changing their cultural, sexual preferences is a lot harder." Guess the black men who go to movies don't count to Ms. Mercer, and apparently neither do the white guys who have flocked to movies featuring black women in leading lady roles. And what of her hormones? A conservative, she had to make note of at least one black man she liked, Sidney Poitier. We like to thank Ms. Mercer for writing an conservative article that is so Nazi-tinged even the White Supremacists among us applauded. We wonder if Ann Coulter is envious of you.

Miles Willis. The great dilemma of successful African-Americans: They stand between whites who suggest they are accenting race too much and black who say the don't do it enough. Willis is not happy that Berry won the Oscar, but part of this makes sense. She won for playing a woman who falls in love with the white, racist executioner of her husband. Meanwhile, Washington, who did win one Oscar before for his role as a rebellious soldier in Glory, won for his role as a corrupt cop. This lent itself to the argument that only those black persons in less than heroic roles will see recognition. Willis didn't stop there though. No, his main gripe was that Berry was with a white man. Going through not only Berry's history in the movies where she is paired off with white leading men, but the history of other black actresses like Angela Bassett in The Score or Thandie Newton in Mission Impossible 2, he says that this is just a continuation of the white man's obsession with black women. "The motivation behind this phenomenon is clearly rooted in the legacy of slavery," He wrote. "Many plantation owners were notorious sexual predators who forced themselves upon slave women and girls of their choice at their leisure, and their men were powerless to stop it. On today's plantation, Hollywood confirms that 'old times there (truly) are not forgotten' as they recreate those longed-for days of unrestricted dalliances with their chattel by casting the best looking black actresses with white actors."
We wonder why Willis didn't call to task black men like Wesley Snipes, Laurence Fishburne, and Mikei Pfifer for playing opposite white women. Perhaps he has his own obsessions he cares not to discuss. Regardless, we extend out thanks to Willis for reminding us that white people are not alone in their limited worldview thinking.

If you know others that we should thank here, feel free to email us at subverter@onepeoplesproject.com.