Everyone else is writing bad song parodies, so I couldn't hold out any longer.
Fuck Me, Hallelujah
Tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic."
WARNING: this one is BAD!
My TV sees the fire and the yellow, blue and red
The flag waves over pictures that are meant to give me dread
The pundits drone on doom until I cannot use my head
It looks like we've been FUCKED!
Chorus:
Fuck me, fuck me, Hallelujah
Make a stupid shit my ruler
Fuck me, fuck me, Hallelujah
I've bent and spread my ass!
The frat boy calls it "Crusade," no one told him that word's bad
And so Rumsfeld runs to Egypt when the people there get mad
And the airlines get my taxes till it feels like I've been had
My God, but we've been FUCKED!
Ch.
"Unite behind the president," the people all do say,
"Though he may be a stupid putz, he surely knows the way,
The government he overthrew was in the USA,
So he knows that we're FUCKED!"
Ch.
A kinder, gentler war it is in old Afghanistan,
Most likely also in Iraq, Sudan, and Pakistan,
And also in Tajikistan, Somalia, Iran -
The world will soon be FUCKED!
Ch.
Bin-Laden hides in tunnels paid for by the CIA
While plotting more destruction to bring down the USA
Some writer called it "Blowback," but I don't get a BJ
It feels more like we're FUCKED!
Ch.
The movies made Apocalypse look like good teenage sex
When buildings fell on people we knew that it was FX
They never showed the bodies, and the stuff PG rejects
Our body parts are FUCKED!
Ch.
Jesus died to make men holy, but we die to take their oil
We have funded their fanatics, all for Russia's plans to foil
We protect their evil monarchs, while the common people toil
Then we ask why we're FUCKED!
Ch. and drop from exhaustion.
Original: The Battle Hymn of the Republicans