Martians invade La Jolla, saying they are sick of the fast new pace of outer spa

by intime - sdimc Friday, Apr. 27, 2001 at 7:46 PM
sdimc@aol.com

The end of the beginning?

With green legs and torsos protruding from bathing suits, surfboards under their arms, countless Martians have begun to appear in this ritzy, mellow San Diego beach community. One of them, named Rex, said “Now that late capitalism has invaded outer space, in the form of the agreement to let that American millionaire buy his way into the international space station, we have decided it is time to cure you Earthlings of your ills. We have purposefully remained out of contact with most of you over the past three thousand years because we have been really offended that your Euro-culture has associated our planet with violence. What irony! We have never had a war, let alone a weapon, on our fair home. How many have you had--in the past one hundred years alone? Fear not, we have not come to hurt, but to cure. We know the source of your troubles: they are a manifestation of the post-modern Self-Other relationship. We hoped that you people would figure things out more or less on your own, (we even implanted special knowledge inside the mind of Prof. Jacques Derrida) but we feel that the time has come for direct action. We will teach all Earth creatures about true democracy--Martian democracy! We have chosen La Jolla because we have heard about the anti-democratic fee referendum that the administration of the University of California is trying to push through here, against student interests. Also we like nice weather and pretty flora.”

Original: Martians invade La Jolla, saying they are sick of the fast new pace of outer spa