PUNISHMENT NOT TOUGH ENOUGH FOR CONSPIRATORIAL HOODLUMS
By Boneless Fillet of Chicken
I am writing this article as a journalist at Funky Rubber Chicken Productions, and a great concern has come over me as I do so. You see, the company founder, "funky rubber chicken," as it calls itself, is not a REAL chicken at all. It is a non-gendered, PSEUDO-foul, made entirely of RUBBER! Rubber that has been molded and shaped into the LIKENESS of a chicken, but rubber that is, altogether, NOT a chicken.
I have to make this clear to readers, as I fear that this "funky" rubber chicken is, through it